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Title: Does your exBPD attempt contact at Christmas? Post by: letmeout on December 20, 2014, 01:48:25 AM Tis the season for BPDex's to re-emerge?
Every year before Christmas my BPDex tries to find ways to contact me; I went NC after the divorce to protect myself and heal. This time he has manipulated our kids into helping him. Ex claims that he just HAS to talk to me about my dying brother because he is so concerned. If he was so concerned, he could call my brother himself but he hasn't. The kids told him that I just got a better paying job. He totally ripped me off financially, so I'm suspicious that he wants to attempt a recycle because I'm making more money. Maybe I'm off the mark on that, but I don't trust him at all. It has taken me 3 years to get his voice out of my head. I shouldn't go near him much less listen to him, but now my kids insist that I should at least hear him out. Oh no... .what should I say to the kids? (who happen to be adults!). Title: Re: Does your exBPD attempt contact at Christmas? Post by: maxen on December 20, 2014, 04:39:19 PM a tough one, letmeout!
can you run through in your head how such a conversation might go? Title: Re: Does your exBPD attempt contact at Christmas? Post by: Turkish on December 20, 2014, 11:12:32 PM I think adult children can use some SET. More like seT.
You have a right to be left alone... Title: Re: Does your exBPD attempt contact at Christmas? Post by: beachtalks on December 21, 2014, 12:31:59 AM Hi there,
I would trust your gut on this one. :)id your kids tell you to leave the guy? My guess is no--because kids are usually very protective and if they didn't want you together then they still would not now. My guess is that they really didn't understand the dynamics of this relationship. That being said, perhaps you are considering their request because something inside of you wants to have a conversation with him after all of this time. If so, this could actually be healthy, if you have become stronger and want to prove to yourself, and him, that you would never tolerate his abuse again. I've done this before and showing up as a new and improved version of myself who no longer takes crap from anyone is extremely empowering. In fact, for me it's part of the healing process. Good luck no matter what you choose! :) Title: Re: Does your exBPD attempt contact at Christmas? Post by: Targeted on December 21, 2014, 01:25:51 AM I'll let you know, still a few days left.
Merry Christmas. Title: Re: Does your exBPD attempt contact at Christmas? Post by: letmeout on December 22, 2014, 11:42:35 PM I decided that it was best for me not to talk to him.
Even if he behaved himself, just hearing his voice would remind me of all the poison venom that spewed from his mouth because of his disordered mind. I don't think that would be very healing, would it? |