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A thought popped into my head today. We have discussed in the forums the "dead eyes" symptom before. Has anyone experienced the opposite? I can prolly count on my two hands in 4 1/2 years I experienced this. My example: After sex, when we were laying there, every now in then when I looked I to her eyes, she looked so innocent and vulnerable. Almost like

I caught some sort of brief moment of the damaged part of her. It was ways very brief and if she caught me looking, she would quickly get up or rage. Has anyone else experienced this? Also now that I think about it, did anyone else's ex have a big deal with eye contact? My ex would not talk to me unless she could see my eyes. If I had my hat pulled down, sunglasses, or a hoodie on, she would constantly make remarks about how she couldn't see my eyes while we were talking, and it made her nervous. Anyone else deal with these things? It's funny the things you see once you are out of the r/s.

My ex would tell me when we were lying together that someone looking into her eyes felt uncomfy after a few seconds because "It was like having someone look into my soul".

She'd have the loving gaze but it never lasted more than 5 seconds before she'd shift her gaze away.

A lot of times we layed together I would see his damaged part. He would say things like "are you going to be with me forever", "who's going to love me", "you are going to leave like everyone else", and "what is normal, am I normal". Then when I asked him about it later his has no memory of even saying those statements. However, he would say these same statements all the time. As a matter of fact, a lot of psychology words and statements I hearing for the first time on this site he would use these words in our everyday conversation. (btw he is uBPD in denial). I just thought it was weird to hear these words in someone's daily conversation unless they know they have some type of disorder but hides it from the world.

I seen the vulnerable side and hear/seen the evil side. He would say some crazy statements like "if I killed someone I can get away with it", "my wife would never leave me alive", "if my wife cheated I would chop of her lover and have her watch and she will never tell as soul", the last crazy a$$ statement he said to me this week was if you ever gave me an STD "I would knock on your door and kill you executional style". What the heck!


WOW! It was a must for my exBPD to look into my eyes during our conversations. He would hold my head straight and just stare in my eyes. Sometimes we when we were not even talking. He would say you can see the soul of a person by looking into their eyes. I noticed he did this with others to so call try to see if they were "lying". But he was extreme with me. The first time was okay but when I see this was all the time it freaked me out. He did not trust anyone. It was sad to hear have the nonsense that came out of his mouth. I unfortunately had it a bit worse than others because I had to explain myself all the time while he looked into my eyes.