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I was just thinking... .since a BPD goes after a supply. How many of us were the ultimate supply?  I know that sounds conceited and narcissistic.  In therapy my therapist told me that no one loved her or ever cared for her the way I did. He told me she is not done with me. I read on these boards how people say the same thing. Also people say that the BPD will most likely come back for supply. It makes sense if we were the ultimate supply. I do know in the six years together I took care of her every need want and desire. I was always there and I always loved Her no matter how bad I was treated. She cheated and lied to me. I did things in the relationship that I am not proud of and I was no saint. I worked on those things and I changed. As I changed she hated me because she could no longer hold my short comings over my head.

I do know that people she dated and was with in the past never treated her with the respect and love I did. I wonder if ars struggles post break up are so intense and hard because we were this person's ultimate supply. I don't think she will ever find anyone who gave and gave and loved  like I did. Does That make sense?  Thoughts?

She told me that she had never loved anyone like she loved me.  But I definitely was not her ultimate supply.  She did a good job at chipping away at my boundaries but I kept fairly strong.  I suspected the cheating, but when she finally told me she had new supply - she didn't see me again.  She has tried.  I suspect whoever they are with at any one time is their ultimate supply until reality sets in and the supply is kicked of the pedestal and painted black. It's like a kid with a box of toys.  There will have been many best toys ever.

I don't really think there is an ultimate supply only an immediate supply. I treated mine like a queen,  I'm sure she doesn't recognize that now because that would destroy the mental picture she had to paint to justify her actions.

I see what you're saying, although the way my ex turned things against me/accused me of things I hadn't done makes me question her view of those she was with before me. Maybe it's also so hard for us because they were also OUR supply/addiction? We got to give and give, share who we were, feel more than ever. Bumping up against the dead ends of their puzzles, rising to the challenge as best we could. Eventually acknowledging our wounds, our eyes really opened. We stepped back/set boundaries, and walked away/were ran away from. Why didn't the 'ultimate' cure them/break their patterns? Because the disorder fights it off? Because they choose the comfort of the chaos they're used to over actual change for the better?