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Title: christmas card Post by: pieceofme on December 23, 2014, 06:05:00 PM sunday marked 12 weeks NC for me. my ex has made several attempts to talk via text and phone, but today he crossed the line and left a christmas card on my doorstep. i see it as an act of desperation, but more creepy. i hate knowing he was at my house. i feel violated, as if my boundary has been compromised.
i am frustrated because i feel like i will be haunted by him / BPD forever. it isn't fair. Title: Re: christmas card Post by: Splitblack4good on December 23, 2014, 09:04:22 PM sunday marked 12 weeks NC for me. my ex has made several attempts to talk via text and phone, but today he crossed the line and left a christmas card on my doorstep. i see it as an act of desperation, but more creepy. i hate knowing he was at my house. i feel violated, as if my boundary has been compromised. i am frustrated because i feel like i will be haunted by him / BPD forever. it isn't fair. That is creepy! I guess he just cant let go ! I'm trying to get my ex to reply to my texts regarding something silly I want to cut the ties and be rid of her for good she is ignoring my texts but strangely had a call on an unknown number then a hang up sure it was her strange ! Title: Re: christmas card Post by: pieceofme on December 24, 2014, 10:15:17 AM very creepy and unsettling! i know all about those calls from unknown numbers LOL and fake numbers, too - my ex has an app that generates fake numbers (from whatever state he wants) that he calls from - talk about crazy
my guess is your ex is ignoring you because you contacting her takes away her control. plus if she knows you want to cut ties, it triggers her fear of abandonment. are you able to cut ties without further communication? Title: Re: christmas card Post by: Lucky Jim on December 24, 2014, 10:23:36 AM Friends, Those w/BPD fear abandonment and crave attention, in my view, which is why they keep trying to get a reaction out of you. Doesn't matter if it's a good or bad reaction, as long as the pwBPD goads you into some form of communication. Be wary and don't let yourself get manipulated into doing something that doesn't feel right to you. LuckyJim
Title: Re: christmas card Post by: pieceofme on December 24, 2014, 10:31:31 AM Friends, Those w/BPD fear abandonment and crave attention, in my view, which is why they keep trying to get a reaction out of you. Doesn't matter if it's a good or bad reaction, as long as the pwBPD goads you into some form of communication. Be wary and don't let yourself get manipulated into doing something that doesn't feel right to you. LuckyJim thank you for the reminder! i've been able to resist responding to his previous texts and calls, but i am really struggling with this christmas card. i feel like a jerk not responding. i don't want to talk to him (not at all!), but maybe it's just the holiday spirit that makes me feel this way? or BPD's ability to make me feel like the bad guy? i don't know. Title: Re: christmas card Post by: Lucky Jim on December 29, 2014, 11:28:33 AM Hey pieceofme, Those w/BPD are experts at manipulation so make sure you pause before you do anything to determine whether you are acting out of Fear, Obligation or Guilt (the big 3). If so, there's a good chance that you're getting manipulated. Remind yourself that you are under no obligation to respond, unless it feels like the right thing to you. If you're doing it out of guilt or a sense that you owe it to your Ex, then you're getting off track in my view. LuckyJim
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