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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: believer55 on January 07, 2015, 05:17:35 AM



Title: Out of the blue
Post by: believer55 on January 07, 2015, 05:17:35 AM
So have been feeling strengthened and optimistic then... .bang... .out of the blue I'm in trouble because he thinks I have removed our engaged status from stupid facebook. Can't convince him its just a page view thing. Next thing I am cowering in the bathroom as he calls me names in front of his sons. I get a chance to grab my keys and get to the car only to find he has parked behind me. 45 mins of entertainment for the neighbours as I beg him to move the car as I have promised myself to leave each time he gets abusive. He's hitting car and calling me all sorts of names. Of course this is all my fault. Finally I am siting watching a storm at the beach, bottle of wine in car breathing the fresh night air (it was 42 deg C here today). How long can I keep this up? Thanks for letting me vent.


Title: Re: Out of the blue
Post by: Crumbling on January 07, 2015, 07:07:04 AM
   

Good for you for keeping your boundary, no matter how much resistance he put up!

You don't deserve that treatment, and you know it really isn't your fault, right?

 

Are you going back?  What's your next move?


Title: Re: Out of the blue
Post by: believer55 on January 07, 2015, 08:21:36 AM
Thanks Crumbling. Feeling very alone right now. Back home on lounge he's asleep in bed. Will tackle tomorrow if I can. It's the kids I feel for. I worry bout the toll its taking on them.


Title: Re: Out of the blue
Post by: Crumbling on January 07, 2015, 09:17:21 AM
No doubt, it's the saddest part, having the kids exposed to it all!

Sounds like a good day to self-sooth, rest and rejuvenate.  Do something nice for yourself today, if you can.  It's not easy being attacked for nothing that way.  

You're not alone.  We journey with you in spirit.


c.



Title: Re: Out of the blue
Post by: believer55 on January 07, 2015, 09:34:24 AM
Think I will do that. Its now 2am here in Australia and I'm supposed to go to work but thinking of taking a sickie... .a "mental health day". Just been yelled at for not wanting to go to bed with him. Thanks again for being there.


Title: Re: Out of the blue
Post by: Crumbling on January 07, 2015, 09:56:09 AM
    np.

Sounds like he's got no grasp on what he did to you,   

If this doesn't qualify for a 'mental health day' I don't know what would!


Title: Re: Out of the blue
Post by: Grey Kitty on January 07, 2015, 08:28:18 PM
Lesson for next time:

Never park where he can block you in. NEVER.

Walking 10 minutes to your car is nothing compared to this:

45 mins of entertainment for the neighbours as I beg him to move the car as I have promised myself to leave each time he gets abusive. He's hitting car and calling me all sorts of names.

Alternative: Blocking your access to leave generally qualifies as domestic violence legally. You can tell him that if he doesn't move his car immediately you will call the police. But only say this if you have confirmed your legal status... .and are willing to do it.