BPDFamily.com

Like salmon swimming upstream or the swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano I got another request from exBPDgf.

Apparently I did not set up my text blocker correctly and got a "hey" text from the exBPDgf a few min ago.  I knew what was comig next since I am her muse so I responded "hey bonita what's new?"    I suppose I can be a d&ck sometimes.

Her reply:  "take me out tonight. I am off tomorrow."

My reply: "Can't tonight."  

Her reply: "bah" and then "ok"

No further replies from me.

Well I feel kind of good by telling her no and not explaining anything etc. In the past I might have said oh sorry I have to do so and so etc.

I am more comfortable now with our bogus "friendship."

If she asks for any more things to do, favors or money I will keep saying "I can't" and if she persists maybe on the weekend I will text her to ask if she can help clean my bathroom or something.

If you are out, you really need to ignore this stuff.  Otherwise, the swallows will indeed return.  Thanks for the laugh.

Yeah I know you are right.  I have to admit it feels good to tell her no.

The way a BPD will decode this is that you did not say no, you said not tonight... .Meaning she's been given the green light to ask another time when she's got no one else to use.

This is how I felt when she asked if I wanted to meet for lunch/go bowling. I turned her down; I truthfully wasn't feeling well that day. But I was wondering the whole time, ":)oes she really want to see ME, or would anybody available do?"

You are correct. Same thing happened tonight "I want to go out. Can you take me out?" text.

Thanks for the laugh! Make sure she gets the toilet bowls real clean. She needs to earn her date. Great reply. Sounds to me like you were really telling her, "your not that special."

WOW! ... her arrogance is just unbelievable. LOL!

You better figure out your text block operating procedure and turn it up to ":)efcon 5"!

Truth be told, any person could take that reply as such, mentally ill or not. It literally says 'I can't' and not 'I don't want'. Offering her to come clean out your toilet might possibly send another message though  lol

I have to agree with the wrabit here.   :)

I think you are in a good place with the humor / detachment. And while "can't" doesn't say "don't want to", it is how we would normally turn someone down.

Normal is good, too  :)

Yeah the audacity of it all haha.    I did figure out the call/text blocker app last night so I should not see her texts and I can't make outgoing calls... .so requires some self control on my part. I feel a little bit stung for being nothing but a gofer, taxi, waiter, bank and sex provider (well being a sex object wasn't that bad when it was good... .I am a guy after all) to her.

Today is her day off and I really need the bathroom cleaned... .and my entire house actually.

Her new job is in housekeeping at a major hotel so she should be good a it.

I would ask her today but my mind is not in the right place.

It probably will not be as funny to her. 

It's good that you are able to let go.

|iiii

Thanks Skip!

I am trying hard but haven't completely let go yet. Not liking her helps. I really can't stand to be around her right now. These text requests really illustrate what I am to her.

The toilets still are in need of major cleaning so I will reserve my right to request assistance at a time of my choosing I suppose.

I'm not going to help you clean your bathroom, friend.

The anger is part of the grieving. It will lift on its own.  It might get a little dark after that.

You're on your way.

Hahaha.  Thanks. My bathroom is pretty clean. Hall bathroom used by 20 year old not so much.

I have been angrier in prior breakup with this person... .the hard part is being angry a myself and feeling devalued. Don't want to be on my back wallowing.

As has happened in the past I noticed she was using my netflix account in the early morning so I changed my login info there.

Right now resisting temptation to give her an unpleasant experience... .but still taking the high road.

Should have said, "I would love to take you out, honey, but you're not worth the jail time".  :)

Right now I am just irritated by the whole thing.

I want to be friends but she is no friend. Every contact she has made after breakup is to just ask for something. I don't even remember when she last asked how I am... .even during the r/s which only ended a coupld of weeks ago.

is it worth it to tell her to stop asking for things or favors?

Well I didn't like the feeling of being angry so I went against the dealing with a BPDex playbook and called her on the phone and had a normal friendly conversation.

We talked about my kittens and just the events of the day.  She went to the mental health facility today and says she has an appointment with a psychiatrist at the end of the month.

In my heart I want to have an adult friendship and stop the insanity... .almost an impossibility I know.

Since she had made all these requests that were annoying me I made a request to her (not clean the toilets... .saving that for later).   I am studying spanish again for travel and fun and I requested she help me with it. She said ok.  

Maybe this is a healthy way to think but I think she owes me a lot and if I can stay on an even keel about it I want to get something back from her in return. Something... .put her to work doing things for me or helping me.  

Make my own request list!