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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: myself on January 08, 2015, 08:12:28 PM



Title: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: myself on January 08, 2015, 08:12:28 PM
It was time. It's been more than a year since the final breakup. I was hanging onto it as a way to hang onto hope she would change, apologize, come back, whatever. I'm not going to need it as I won't be reaching out to her, and the times she tried contacting me I didn't respond. Letting go is like a series of important strings that get cut, and this was another. It's a relief to have taken this step, but there are mixed emotions that come along with it. Mostly sadness. I learned about BPD about a third of the way into our relationship and spent the rest of it working on myself and being there for her. That it ended the way it did is not surprising, given the circumstances, but deleting the contact info for the person I thought I'd spend my life with is still pretty heavy. But it had to be done, for my own peace of mind and to better face the reality of today. No Contact now includes her not being on my Contacts list from now on. Push a couple buttons, closer to detachment.


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: Pingo on January 08, 2015, 08:36:27 PM
Good for you songbook |iiii, one step closer to letting all that pain go and moving forward to the life you want to create for yourself!


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: jhkbuzz on January 08, 2015, 08:55:48 PM
It was time. It's been more than a year since the final breakup. I was hanging onto it as a way to hang onto hope she would change, apologize, come back, whatever. I'm not going to need it as I won't be reaching out to her, and the times she tried contacting me I didn't respond. Letting go is like a series of important strings that get cut, and this was another. It's a relief to have taken this step, but there are mixed emotions that come along with it. Mostly sadness. I learned about BPD about a third of the way into our relationship and spent the rest of it working on myself and being there for her. That it ended the way it did is not surprising, given the circumstances, but deleting the contact info for the person I thought I'd spend my life with is still pretty heavy. But it had to be done, for my own peace of mind and to better face the reality of today. No Contact now includes her not being on my Contacts list from now on. Push a couple buttons, closer to detachment.

I went back and read your very first posts on these boards... .you have really come a long way and healed a lot.  :) Thank you for continuing to share - it helps those of us that are just beginning on the journey... .


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: Blimblam on January 09, 2015, 03:27:08 AM
Must have been hard.  I'm sorry for your loss


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: Trog on January 09, 2015, 04:09:09 AM
It is like cutting the marionette strings from our puppet master (even if they put the toy down some time ago).

NC, deleting phone numbers, I moved abroad to escape mine and started a new job/life.

I do believe I've done the last recycle and am keeping myself single as I know I have some issues to recover from and don't want to hurt or be hurt but eventually find true love. That will be my last string I guess, getting 100% healthy.


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: Perdita on January 09, 2015, 05:40:29 AM
Congratulations on coming this far.  I think that sadness is because you are coming closer to finally letting go completely.  It is also because you (we) are mourning the loss of the love we gave so honestly only to have to accept that they never appreciated it.  That's how it is for me now.  I feel sad that I gave so much love to someone that couldn't care less. 


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: Deeno02 on January 09, 2015, 05:54:32 AM
That was the first thing that went. Remember sitting there looking at it with my finger on the delete button reasoning with myself on why I should keep it. I made the best choice and deleted it. When I got a text from her, I didnt recognize the number... .lol. Was so used to seeing a name pop up!

Good job. Now, get rid of anything else that may be a distraction!


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: myself on January 10, 2015, 04:37:48 PM
Thank you for the encouraging responses.

Taking these steps is also not taking others. Such is life.

We're on different planets anyway. Choosing no more contact.


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: downwhim on January 10, 2015, 05:25:52 PM
Good job. No need for the reminder when you scroll down your contact list.


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: Mr Hollande on January 10, 2015, 05:37:50 PM
Good job. No need for the reminder when you scroll down your contact list.

Or accidental butt call.

It took me a while to delete her numbers as well and with them gone there's one temptation less. Bit by bit we prise them out of our lives.

Well done Songbook!


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: 1989 on January 10, 2015, 05:38:13 PM
I have always admired how you never denigrated her.  I know there is a better life out there for you.  So glad you have reached this milestone.  


Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: myself on January 10, 2015, 06:13:32 PM
I have always admired how you never denigrated her. 

Thank you for saying that.

My T told me the same.

It's a bittersweet relief accepting it.



Title: Re: Finally Deleted Her Phone Number
Post by: AwakenedOne on January 10, 2015, 07:43:52 PM
Good job. No need for the reminder when you scroll down your contact list.

Or accidental butt call.

It took me a while to delete her numbers as well and with them gone there's one temptation less. Bit by bit we prise them out of our lives.

Well done Songbook!

This happened to me.lol

Pocket dialed her from the contact list after 4 months of NC. I was so frustrated when I noticed the outgoing 0 seconds call to her, she didn't answer. I deleted her after that.