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Title: What happens when a pwBPD destroys all friendships/support in their life? Post by: rapror496 on January 09, 2015, 01:28:10 PM What happens when a person with BPD destroys all friendships/ support in their life?
Title: Re: What happens when a pwBPD destroys all friendships/support in their life? Post by: EaglesJuju on January 09, 2015, 06:50:48 PM PwBPD tend to either avoid or find a new source of support.
Title: Re: What happens when a pwBPD destroys all friendships/support in their life? Post by: maxsterling on January 10, 2015, 05:45:40 PM good question! I was thinking about this yesterday as my wife was blocking this person and painting that person black. First she was blocking a few members of my family. Then my whole family. Then her dad. Then various friends. I wondered at what level she would stop, and in the end would I be the only one left?
From what I have observed, if they paint one person black, it's usually around that time they paint someone else white. Despite my wife's "purging" she always leaves at least one person on her side. Not sure if she makes sure she has a replacement before eliminating someone, or the act of eliminating someone forces her to consider a replacement. When my wife painted two friends black a few months ago, she soon resumed dialogue with a previously painted black friend, an ex boyfriend, and a cousin she hadn't really talked to in many years. From what I know about my wife's past life, the times when all friendships crumble at once are the times she winds up in the hospital with a suicide attempt. She told me yesterday about a breakup when she lived in a foreign country. All her friends were also freinds of his, and they all took his side. End result? Hospital and suicide thoughts. Same when she moved here and had few close friends. If anything happened between her and I? Suicide threats. I think that is why the pwBPD is careful to not eliminate everyone. Title: Re: What happens when a pwBPD destroys all friendships/support in their life? Post by: stolenheart on January 12, 2015, 10:50:53 PM Like EaglesJuju stated, people with BPD tend to make new friends very quickly. It is not uncommon for them to always have a fall-back option in place friends/relatives are not aware of.
If you think of that part in BPD's life, you have to understand, that BPDs are very versatile and in many, if not most cases they are perceived the perfect fit by their counterparts, the people they usually end up with. They are not just the absolute fantasy, a dream come true, but also available! You have to stop thinking about people with BPD as individuals isolated from the word they live in and people they interact with. So basically, to answer the TS question, it just (almost) never happens. As much as you might think or wish they destroyed all their relationships and everybody hates them, the moment you think they finally reached that point, they are already telling their new saver hour-length stories about what a monster you are and how lucky they have been to have escaped from all those horrible people in their live and to be saved by the only person in the world, who actually "gets" and loves them. That's just the reality of it in most cases. |