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A little while ago I got a text from the exgf asking "do you want to go out with me tonight?"

This is an improvement from "Hey."    "Hey!"        "Take me out!"

Again I answered "I can't."  and added "I am sick."    I have had a stomach flu all day and quite frankly it is miserable... .but has forced me to focus on myself.

I hesitated to add the explanation but I thought it would be what I'd say to a normal person and also a challenge to her to see if she would respond in a way remotely expressing any concern for me.

Somewhat shockingly she responded almost like a normal person "Oh sorry to hear that" with a sad face and "What's the matter?" and "I hope you feel better soon."

Maybe full moon still out there.

Are you entertaining the idea of getting together with her again? If not, you might want to consider that you're engaging her in a way that's leaving that door wide open.

Well, have you told her that you don't want to hang out with her?

No I have not told her that.  I don't want a recycle and I don't want to cut off contact as long as I am not taking more hits. I don't want to take her out or do anything for her. If she keeps trying to get me to take her out I will keep repeating I can't.  If she asks me for soda or cigarettes etc again I will tell her to stop asking me.   

The adult thing to do here would be to communicate this to her.  Something is holding you back, though. 

This serve and volley game can only go on so long.

Then just tell her that, man.

I have told her that... .during our long post breakup discussion when I called her out.   Clearly I am doing something wrong. Right now everything is so confusing I can't keep track of things and am unsure of my own actions. Being sick probably doesn't help.

My mind tells me to do these things at this stage.

1. Don't initiate contact unless I want something from her.

2. Don't give her anything or do anything for her.

3. Don't hang out with her.

4. Don't return texts other than to say"I can't."

5. Do all the things recommended to rebuild myself and recover.

Remember that she will most likely have sent this text to her other ex partners as well as you.

Delete and forget. Don't even reply next time if you are serious about moving on.

Appreciate your reply and advice. She has no other ex partners at this time to send the text to. If she did I would not have received one.

Interestingly when I spoke with her last week she told me her first ex-husband (father of her college aged son) and his wife had visited after her son had gone to Mexico for a week and spent a lot of time with his dad.  This is highly unusual as there has never been a r/s between them and the exgf would often complain about how the ex-husband  never supported his son financially.  Last week she said she was now friends with the deadbeat dad whom she used to hate. Also for some strange reason she told me the ex's wife was very jealous because she is 10 years older.

It appears her son and his gf (her name on apt lease) were sent to Mexico to bring the ex-husband closer to he family for financial support. She has run out of options and this is the first time the ex-husband (a sucessful businessman in Mexico) has ever visited the family in the usa.

I think she is making some kind of play to get $$$ from him.  There is a lot of stuff I guess i need to talk about when I can get in to see a therapist.  Thanks for your patience.