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Do they every 'come to their senses' and stop painting us black to themselves as well as to their family and friends? Under what circumstances do they?

She painted me black after each break up and she changed it to white in 2 - 6 weeks each time. Why? I don't know, because she missed me or the attention I suppose? Something she would start dating a new guy and it just didn't felt the same, the other guys were not as easy to give in to her needs.

Its best no to think about it and hope that you remain painted black. Much safer. 6 weeks out now and still painted black.

So I take it that she told you after a recycle that she had dated someone new and you were able to connect the dots on why it didn't work out?

The times she dated during our break ups, she would admit it by herself, or was even dating them when she got back together with me. She always told me what was wrong with them: they wouldn't stop talking about themselves, or wouldn't go to a certain place with her, for example. She immideately dumped them when I would take her back.

The joke's on me.

interesting... .were these just a date or two kind of situations, or were they more long term? Did it bother you that she went out with someone else?

Not long term as we only split up for a few weeks. I did the same sometimes, had a few flings. This would infuriate her and she wanted me back. I dumped the other women and went back to her.

A dangerous, crazy dance it was, and i still regret treating other people so bad during those times.

I recall during one of our past 4 week recycles, I went back to the singles site she and I had met on... .upon our reconciliation, it was a serious bone of contention. She was ENRAGED that even though she had dumped me, that somehow going on the singles site was a HUGE offense to her in some way (I suspect she feels the same way now as I did the exact same thing). We really never discussed it fully then but there really never was any kind of understanding about it.

I read somewhere that although they may intend to end the relationship (some accounts even disagree about that much, they they are just putting you down for a while), but that they never really fully detach. Hence, the end of the splitting, then they recall you being good, paint you white and then reach out again (sometimes VERY persistently) even 10 years later.