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Title: I recycled him he discarded me Post by: whythisgirl on January 12, 2015, 08:30:20 PM Well I'm back after 3 weeks of reconnecting back with my exBPD/NPD bf. I'm completely tired of walking on eggshells. If I don't answer the phone or respond to his text he snaps. If I don't say the right words he snaps. Its literally driving me crazy. The last 2 weekends we went out of town together and had an amazing time but as soon as I leave his side has accuses me of being untrustworthy. I couldn't even step out the hotel room to get ice down the hall without him accompanying me. Well he discarded me tonight because I told him that I texted exbf to ask how the dog was doing. My ex and I share the dog and he has always been aware of the arrangement before we started the r/s... .but wants me to no contact with my ex... well he got so upset and told me he doesn't want to talk to me anymore... .I'm so shocked, hurt and upset right now... don't understand why I keep allowing him to hurt me... .I feel thrown away again :'(
Title: Re: I recycled him he discarded me Post by: fromheeltoheal on January 12, 2015, 09:31:50 PM Detaching is two steps forward, one step back sometimes. How can you use this moving forward? What did you learn? After what you've learned about the disorder, did you get more confirmation? What's good about this? There's what happens and what we make it mean, two different things; what empowering meaning can you find?
Title: Re: I recycled him he discarded me Post by: Skip on January 13, 2015, 08:04:14 AM How can you use this moving forward? What did you learn? After what you've learned about the disorder, did you get more confirmation? What's good about this? There's what happens and what we make it mean, two different things; what empowering meaning can you find? Good questions. Why is he so afraid/jealous? Title: Re: I recycled him he discarded me Post by: whythisgirl on January 13, 2015, 10:49:22 AM How can you use this moving forward? What did you learn? After what you've learned about the disorder, did you get more confirmation? What's good about this? There's what happens and what we make it mean, two different things; what empowering meaning can you find? Good questions. Why is he so afraid/jealous? Good question and I don't know. He always wants me to be open and honest but he can't handle the truth. He always puts me down or make me feel like I'm the bad guy when I keep an open communication with him. He has always been jealous and paranoid but if I call him out on it he flips out on me. Last night he called me to tell me how my lifestyle doesn't fit his due to my indiscretions. I didn't even put up a fight because I'm tired of defending myself over his so called insecurity. I'm sad right now can't believe I'm so codependent and have allowed this abuse. Trying to find ways to grief and stay focus on detaching from this toxic r/s. Title: Re: I recycled him he discarded me Post by: whythisgirl on January 13, 2015, 10:59:29 AM Detaching is two steps forward, one step back sometimes. How can you use this moving forward? What did you learn? After what you've learned about the disorder, did you get more confirmation? What's good about this? There's what happens and what we make it mean, two different things; what empowering meaning can you find? I have and continue to learn from my bad experience. I have learned that my ex has no boundaries yet I have added fuel to the fire by entertaining his nonsense only for him to use gas lighting tactics on me and label me crazy. I am learning to set my own boundaries to use in future relationships and not to look back. I know what I deserve and will not tolerate from someone I'm in a relationship with. This experience has helped me understand myself. Its still hard for me to accept that this person may have a disorder because they act right with outsiders but treat the close people in their lives with no respect. That is unacceptablec |