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So I was on the staying board. I allowed myself to be sucked back in about 1 1/2 months ago after I kicked her out for her violent behavior, lying etc.

Well things were generally "ok". I mean she was crazy. But last week her sister was visiting and a buddy of mine stopped by and I was outside helping him work on his truck. And she randomly walked up to my and punched me in the face and called me a f****t. For no reason that a normal person could think of, everyone was astounded. Later that night she got more violent when it was just us and her sister watching movies. Out of no where she started punching me, her sister started recording it and was about to call the cops when she grabbed the phone and smashed it. She continued to hit me and punch, threw me down the stairs. Finally she let up.

Well fast forward to last night, I was playing cards at the casino, I called up a friend i haven't seen in 6 months and thought she might like to meet another one of my friends. She immediately made him uncomfortable by asking questions to him if I was gay, or if i cheated on her while she was in jail. He left, like all my friends, he thought she was batspit crazy. Well, we go home and I can tell her mood is off and I might be in for trouble. She wakes me up at 2am wanting to have sex but im dead tired. She then tells me if I dont have sex she's going to cheat on me. I told her I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that threatens me like that... .wrong choice of words I guess. She started wailing on me hard punching me repeatedly, broke my nose, blackened my eye, kept biting me and kept threatening to kill me. There was blood everywhere, all over the bed floors walls. She barricaded me in the room and wouldn't let me get out. I finally was able to get away ran outside to call 911, while the call was in progress she kept trying to grab my phone and kept assaulting me in front of the neighbors at 2am, all the while the 911 operator is hearing it all.

Cops showed up and she ran away before they came. Neighbor called the cops this morning and she resisted, they shutdown my block looking for her. Now she's got 5 felony charges, and is still on probation for a previous DV charge.

And whats sad too, is she gets this way whenever I have friends, she always tries to keep me from having friends. Good normal friends. I looked at her phone this morning and am soo disappointed. She's been sending dirty text messages to multiple guys (all the while constantly accusing me of cheating), which is ironic because before it blew up she was telling me how much she loves me bla bla bla. Hell in the past 30 days I took her for a week in Santa Barbara, then a week in Tahoe to go skiing. She is officially diagnosed after so many times in rehab as BPD, BiPolar, Paranoid Schizophrenic, depression/anxiety.  I don't know why I even tried again, but I will never go back, I honestly feel that she would probably murder me someday. I think I dodged a bullet, albeit after wasting 3 years of my life.

I'm so tired an exhausted, and feel pretty depressed over everything. One thing I've noticed is her violent behavior always correlates with her talking to another guy. Is that the norm for a person like this?

Welcome.

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Wow.  You've really been through a rough time.  Sorry you suffered such abuse.  It must have been very scary.  I don't think it is a pattern for most BPDs to turn violent when they are talking to another guy/woman.  They can be very cold when they feel they might have a replacement and getting ready to discard you, but I think this level of violence is not that common.  Could be the BiPolar part.

I'm glad you have joined the Leaving Board.  There can be no staying after what you endured.

Mine got violent after muttering something to the effect of "Are you trying to drive me crazy with all of these breakups?"  Attacked me physically and threatened to kill me.

Sorry rock, sounds like the deep end was found and she went off it.  Borderlines don't have the ability to regulate their emotions, and we've all been close to snapping or have snapped, so it's a little easy to relate to what it must be like to live in that emotionally intense place full time.  That does seem over the line though; the multiple diagnoses might explain what manifested, and maybe this is for the best, maybe she'll get remanded to a psychiatric hospital or something, seems more appropriate than standard jail.

You've got some work ahead dealing with all of that emotionally, and us here are sure to support you on that journey.


Dunno, I got punched in the face once and it seems you've gone to the advanced level, but with my ex the pattern was pretty clear: in her impulsiveness she'd meet a guy at Starbucks and be blowing him in the parking lot 15 minutes later, she'd later feel ashamed of that impulsiveness and its resultant behavior, that would result in accusing me of cheating, try to off those emotions on me, that would work a little, and then it would all be too much and she'd lash out, mostly verbally, once in a while physically.  Open, honest communication would have solved a lot of things, but then I would have left her, abandonment, and who would she have to abuse then?  The next victim suitor.

Sorry to hear you've had to endure this... .but I can't help thinking. You said you dodged a bullet?... .but she had a machine gun on you. Your lack of healthy boundaries may have contributed to this situation. 

That is some crazy stuff.  I agree with what John Love say.  You had a machine gun on you.  Don't go back for more.