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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: misty_red on January 16, 2015, 02:42:10 PM



Title: Dreams: listen to your subconscious mind
Post by: misty_red on January 16, 2015, 02:42:10 PM
I had such a weird dream some nights ago. I actually stopped dreaming about my xBPDgf some time ago so it really confused me why I would now. And most especially because of the dream’s content.

I do have to say that dreams really confuse me. Sometimes they feel so real that the feeling stays through out the whole day when being awake.

My dream: I was with her, we recycled, were a couple again, she seemed so normal and mature but when we got to have intercourse and I saw her naked upper body her breasts were gone. She had a chest like a child. I was so disgusted because I felt like having intercourse with a child.

Then I woke up.

After the dream I was confused for the whole day. Especially because I never ever did think about getting back with her again, I actually felt like I was detaching very much so it first confused the ___ out of me. How could I dream of being with her when I actually didn’t want to?

I thought about it some time. I actually think it is a sign of detaching and closure. I don’t want to get back with her. My feelings towards her now are like towards a child. She is a child in an adult body. I guess even in my dream I needed to see that a relationship with her is impossible because she’s like a child. I don’t want to be sexually and romantically involved with someone who is as emotionally mature as a child. First of all it’s a huge turn-off, second I just understand now how she must feel. Feelings are a hell of a confusion for children. (That’s no excuse for what she’s done, don’t get me wrong.)

I still don’t hate her. I never will. But I don’t want to get back with her. I now actually feel like more of a parent figure towards her. I know, that means I haven’t detached fully but that’s fine. I can live with that. I might never forget her, but I can live without her. I’m not even tempted to break NC. In the end she still is the one keeping up the connection between us when showing up at places were she knows 100 percent I’ll be. But that’s fine. If she needs it… whatever. I’m not afraid of her anymore.

I just hope she’ll find some peace in her life someday. But that’s not my job.


Title: Re: Dreams: listen to your subconscious mind
Post by: Perdita on January 16, 2015, 03:02:19 PM
Dreams can be very powerful.  I think your interpretation is a pretty good one.  Dreams really can help a person deal with life.  I believe that is what they are all about afterall.