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You know, I can cope with her cheating. I can cope with her moving on. I can cope with her living life without me. I can cope with things not working out. But it's so hard to live with lies. No transparency, no honesty. That's hard. Tell me what you guys feel and think.

I think my ex lied constantly because she doesn't like herself, and if she was open and honest I wouldn't like her either and would leave, her worst fear.  And not just me, everyone, so she's got a lifetime of practice creating a facade.  That doesn't make it OK or any less sad, but it does explain it.

BuildingFromScratch ... I understand how hard that feels.

You know, I think that's when they are at their best, when they are lying.  They actually look the most sincere.  It's like, when we are being honest to someone, we have a certain look on our face, very open and honest.

I truly feel, when they lie, that's when they have the same look yet they are lying.  It is very natural for them.  I just think they compartmentalize quite easily. 

My udBPDbf once said to me in relation to an incident that I found out out:  What you don't know, can't hurt you!

They hate being found out.

Mine did all of the the above... .but you are more tolerant than me. I certainly cannot deal with the cheating... .the total betrayal, while I was honest, trusting and there for her. all the lies and then all the attacking, deragatory, cruel statements at me once she had new supply.

Couple that with never taking any responsibility for any of the above and then trying to maintain some kind of sick contact with me that was just abusive and self-centered on her part.

It was all so ugly. My pain was great... .I truly suffered... .but I was able to cut her off and never talk to her again... .I still hurts... .but there was nothing else that I could do and still love me. It's a twisted place to end up.