BPDFamily.com

How do you keep from getting that uneasy feeling that ex is up to something when they do something totally out of character. DS has parent teacher conferences tonight, we've know about them since September.

Monday becasue of a Doctor appointment DS couldn't make karate class and they have one tonight at 6. I get a text from ex saying he may not be going tonight and that I can just represent us since DS likes karate and he wants to take him, since he didn't go Monday.

UNPex is a major control person, I just get an uneasy feeling about all of this. How to respond to his text about me representing us at conferences. I'm fully capable and honestly don't care to have dad there so that isn't a worry, this just isn't normal for him. There isn't an "us" and hasn't been for almost 4 years. Why should I have to go and do the work and relay info. to him, not really my job any longer. But I also don't want to be accused of "not" giving him information. I mean communicating about things regarding the kids is one thing, but being told to represent us at something he has the ability to be at seems like a jerk move to me.

by the way karate is at 6 conference is 520-540 and karate is 5 minutes from teh school, so it isn't like it is at the same time.

I know the feeling, a conspiracy that on occasion actually has been real.


I would celebrate when my BPDw was affair'ing during the separation, the signs were obvious, pet boarding, travel, etc., AND, she would do stuff like this, zone out from kids, be nice, etc.  The problem is she can't seem to affair out of the marriage longer than a month, so she returns to normal.

I suspect your ex is probably dating, or mood swinging, oh, or he's trying to negotiate with you and play nice, if there is anything to negotiate at the present.

Maybe point out that the conference is happening prior to karate? See if you can draw him out and learn more.

It could be benign. It could also be an opportunity to tell S that "mom must not care to bring you, but I do." Or it could be that he feels anxiety around teachers, talking about S when he doesn't know much about what he's doing.

I def think he is cheating on his gf, they are actually engaged but I still say gf. They are building a house together, one that from what my D says is almost exactly like the house he and I built. Did I mention his gf and I could be twins... .seriously creepy when I am around her. He has been doing some very out of character things lately that I hear about either in convos he is having and I happen to be there (like at karate) or I hear from the kids. Some of it is behavior I know he did with me when we met and he was "engaged" to his high school sweetheart. He recently took a week off work out of the blue, woke up one morning and decide to "go for a drive" east until he hit a city. He actually texted this to me as I had asked him if he could get the kids from PSR since I had a meeting that had just come up with my step-son's school.

He def. isn't uncomfortable around teachers, he is very good at making people think he is so involved that it surprises me that he wouldn't use this chance to smooth talk the teacher. He is NP and thinks he is so much better than others that he isn't uncomfortable around anyone. He loves all opportunities to puff out his chest. There really isn't anything going on right now that we are negotiating that would make him play nice. Actually things have been pretty calm and dare I say normal the last few months, except a few small things that are just his normal behavior.

He also can't use the "mom must not care to bring you but I do" because it is dad's mid-week with the kids so I couldn't take him even if I wanted to.

I hate the conspiracy feeling I still get sometimes.