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Title: Limited Contact with BPDex Post by: mrwigand on January 23, 2015, 10:33:36 PM I can see that there's a lot of people with experience going NC with their BPDex. I was wondering if anyone out there had experience with limited contact? I just ended my relationship with BPDexgf, and we actually split on very amicable terms. I told her I wanted to be her friend, but in the very least there would have to be a period of no physical contact, but I didn't rule out texting, etc.
I don't know, has anyone been in that situation before? I'm curious what your experience was. Title: Re: Limited Contact with BPDex Post by: icom on January 23, 2015, 11:07:12 PM Yes.
I instituted a graduated withdrawal, and highly recommend the procedure if you have a stout constitution. I would not advocate "friendship" at the early stages, as you do need to spend some time isolated from your partner to allow you to desensitize. A person is naturally hypersensitive when a relationship is terminated, and in order to successfully break the emotional bond, you do have to starve yourself, weaning yourself off behaviours that are contingent upon reciprocation. You need to work past the stage of intrusive and compulsive thoughts that accompany the end of your relationship before advancing the prospect of extremely limited contact in a friendly sort of way. Bear in mind that just as in your relationship, boundary testing/violating are de rigueur, so you have to stick to your guns. My situation was helped along by the "other" guy that she had introduced into her life several months prior to our split, so keeping her at bay wasn't a tremendous issue. Title: Re: Limited Contact with BPDex Post by: Infern0 on January 24, 2015, 01:10:03 AM I think for most people no contact is the way to go.
Just because your relationship is over, the roller coaster ride won't be all the while you have contact. You can be reidealized, used for triangulation, devalued, the whole thing keeps on going. One minute, you can be sat there thinking "haven't heard from her in a while" and the next they are texting you how they want you back. They are all over the place and you can't expect any consistency, in fact it's worse outside of a relationship due to low OC. If you want to keep contact open then it's up to you but be under no illusions, you will still witness all standard BPD behaviour |