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We have known each other so long and I feel there is something I need to get off my chest,  I need her to know WHY I have stayed NC when she tries contact,   Not that she will understand it or not turn it around on me in her mind but the way I was treated by someone I have known for so long before a relationship is eating at me.  To have trusted and given so much of myself only to be cheated on and lied to and be accused of her actions is intolerable!  Not a letter to try to get her back,  a letter to explain why I never will and there is no need to reach out anymore.   Others thoughts?

Fortunately, mine has not tried to contact me directly.  She makes me fear for my personal safety and my career (based on specific threats she made).  If she did directly contact me, I think I would respond with a more elaborate version of the following: "I am too in love with you still and it hurts too much -- I simply can't bear to have a more active role in your life at this time."  I worry that not responding to her might not go over well.  If I can convince her that I'm in love and that she has power and control over me, I think that will go over best. 

And I don't see much point at all in pointing out anything I'm upset about with her -- she is not going to learn and it's not going to make anything better.  In some sick way I think it would be rewarding for her if I lashed out with negative attention.  If she begged for help and said that I was needed as part of some therapy process, I might consider helping in this context after at least a couple months of thought about it (at which point she'd probably have forgotten about the request). 

I am in the exact same position, she call child services on me to try to get my children taken away so I do not want to give her the opportunity to do worse!  I know her, I know this relationship was meaningful to her, I know I was good to her, and I want her to know that it is her that is the reason why I cannot be involved with her any more,  basically either get help which I have told her to do along time ago and would not bother repeating, or stop sending letters and calls and texts and emails!

Has the frequency of her contacting you generally decreased over time?  Perhaps this will happen on its own?

It has decreased but keeps me from detaching quicker!  She just knows when to poke her head in!

I wish I could write a love letter to her (in a friendly love type of way).  Really spill my guts.  Tell her that I love her unconditionally (she did awful things to me, but I do believe that some of this was out of her control -- and also that people do make mistakes).  Mention some of the good times.  But also try to explain that we'll never see each other again, and that I wish her the best. 

The only reason I hold back is for fear that she will respond with trying to kill me or otherwise destroy me.

It's just so crazy to go NC so abruptly on someone you were so close with and had planned to spend your life with.  In some ways she was the closest friend I've ever had (although in other ways I now feel like I didn't really know her at all).

I don't think she can really comprehend my words anyway, so there wouldn't be much point to write anything.