BPDFamily.com

Technically I should be on another site, as my ex's behavior extends quite a bit beyond Borderline, but this site has been a godsend for months now and I'm grateful for all of you who make me feel welcome here.  And to think I still find myself having days here and there where I say, "Maybe he's not disordered, maybe it was just me, we just didn't work, and he'll be happy with this new replacement til the day he dies."

….UMMMM NOPE!  Impossible.  I MUST rest in the solace in knowing what an incredibly disordered and DANGEROUS personality I allowed into my physical and emotional space. 

It's days like today that I am reminded what a mess I was stuck in.  He's officially stopped paying the mortgage and our home will go into foreclosure.  I've posted about these worries for months and my predictions have come to the surface.  Now I just have to hope that paying my other bills will somewhat preserve my credit standing.  ugh!

Let me say that I have no problem and prefer to remain NC.  But, he's sent me a handful of emails over the past few weeks…ranging from small things just dipping the bait in the water to see if I'd bite type of stuff... .to blame-filled rants wishing me bad things.  According to him, everything in his world that is wrong is MY problem, long after I'm gone.  Blechh

I've been getting the same thing I hadn't heard from my ex BPDgf for over 2,weeks since I called her out on the fact she cheated on me when we were together and thought I wouldn't hear from her again so I stayed silent aswell due to added hurt of finding out she cheated on top of getting over her and my replacement . Day 17 of NC and at 1.30 in the morning out of nowhere she started blowing up my phone to witch I ignored then followed a influx of texts blaming me for something that's happened 3 months after the b/u her acusations were so lame I could clearly see it was an excuse to contact me when I didn't reply she then started blaming my replacement for her recent drama to then a poor me please feel sorry for me text and validate me please ! Funny the more I ignored her made her more angry then instantly calm its like she would try and see what worked to get me to pick up or reply to her texts . This carried on for 3 hours 4.30 in the morning she gave up . I later found out she had a big argument with my replacement and left for the evening to cool off ive heard they argue more or less every weekend and are getting worse so I may be in for the same every weekend  ? Until the point I block her or she gives up but it does amaize me the things they make up , twist , lie about to see what gets you to reply and if they change tact to something nice but they start with nasty first saying something nice is to difficultI lol

Yes, it's always an up and down roller coaster.  It's to the point that I can predict when my ex will contact me and what type of contact it will be…a raging blame or a pity-filled reaching out for sympathy.  Either way, I know it's NEVER worth responding.  When he rises again and is feeling well and full of himself and has money lining his pockets he will send me something that brags about his success.  It's all disgustingly disordered and the cruelty with mine in particular is atrocious.

I blocked my ex from phone contact and only email is open due to the real estate issue.

That 4:30 in the morning nonsense isn't worth your sleep.  I know it can feel a bit entertaining and powerful to be able to ignore while they're trying to reach you, but part of us is addicted to that and can't function well when they DON'T contact us…so be ready for that awful feeling too.

What I find the most almost unreal is they spend on average 1-2 months after the break up ignoring/blocking you and when they don't ignore you they rub your face in it my praising your replacement then slowly contacting you at what appears to be my exes fav time and that's early hours of the morning 1.30 onwards every time . Looking for attention or sympathy because they had a bust up with the replacement ! The bit I don't get is they have an argument with Ther new partner and then contact ther ex for even more arguing ! Projecting blame on you just to try to get rid of the shame and guilt they feel it's almost like my ex has plenty of that to give away 5 hours arguing with replacement then she has stored some to fire at me ! Contact from her seems to be every 2 weeks I'm sure the arguments will be become more regular and may get it once a week to then 3 times a week until she implodes !

I hear u SB4Good.  You've got me wondering if mine might be contacting me when there is some trouble in his new paradise?  hmmm…  curious minds wonder.  Ahh, I doubt it for now.  At the beginning of our relationship we went for a good long while without arguing.  I distinctly remember thinking/feeling "this is wayy too good to be true.  We haven't even had an argument and there's not even a hint that things would ever go south with this guy if we DID argue."  HUH?  Fast forward to years of chaos, escalating intense rages, secretive drug use, and a disordered mind to the umpteenth power. 

I'm kinda praying that he IS exposing some to the replacement…I hope she gets out, and for her and her kids I hope she gets out sooner than later.  I can't help but feel like she may last longer than I did because she has her kids to distract her and keep her busy.  Anything is possible, I guess.  I just don't want to care and want to be over all this already.