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Title: I tried so hard and she filed for divorce Post by: Moselle on February 02, 2015, 04:13:23 PM She has finally filed for divorce after working with her to try and salvage this marriage of 14 years.
I'm gutted, shattered, confused and distraught... I fear for my childen. I fear for my future. But I am grateful to be splitting from someone I was scared to grow old with. Title: Re: I tried so hard and she filed for divorce Post by: Mutt on February 03, 2015, 09:08:38 AM Hi Moselle,
I'm sorry to hear that. 14 years is a long history. Divorce is hard and especially hard when your partner has a personality disorder. I can relate with fearing what may happen with the children and the future. Understand that she's at the emotional level of a 2-4 year old and acting out. Has she circulated distortions about you to family, friends? Hang in there. Title: Re: I tried so hard and she filed for divorce Post by: billypilgrim on February 03, 2015, 02:10:33 PM But I am grateful to be splitting from someone I was scared to grow old with. It's great that you see this already. You are leaps and bounds ahead of where I was with mine when things ended. It's cliche. And it probably feels empty right now. But she did give you a gift by letting you out. I hesitate to even give that advice because I hated hearing that from folks. It just felt like everything I put into the relationship was for naught. Had she not left, I would have made it work for another 6 years. And then 6 more after that and so on. I didn't joke around with my commitment and I gather you didn't either. I would have stayed, fixed, you name it to make it work. She let me out. I still have work to do but I've got my life back. Hopefully you will realize that soon and things will begin to pick up for you. Best of luck. Title: Re: I tried so hard and she filed for divorce Post by: Turkish on February 04, 2015, 10:59:14 AM She has finally filed for divorce after working with her to try and salvage this marriage of 14 years. I'm gutted, shattered, confused and distraught... I fear for my children. I fear for my future. But I am grateful to be splitting from someone I was scared to grow old with. I remember thinking this over a year before the r/s started breaking down, that I would leave and go someplace where I knew she wouldn't want to follow. I knew I would never have peace. I often wish I had found this board a year earlier, but aside form the emotional dysregulations, I think our core values and world-views were fundamentally different. Then I thought to myself, "she's going to pick up on my feelings... .how long can I stretch this r/s out, 3 years? 7?" She made the choice for me. You've been around a while, M. You know where to post here for specific help. I also invite you to post to the Co-Parenting Board, if you haven't read it much, to get tools to protect your children. Above all, think of the rule for First Responders: protect yourself first. You won't be able to help your children if you don't take care of yourself first. |