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Title: searching for wisdom Post by: SlyQQ on February 02, 2015, 09:44:07 PM I normally try to work things out through reasoning understanding and resourcefulness
like many here having plumbed their depths find little remains but direct confrontation ( M linehan s advice on this is when self destructive acts are faced remedial action is required , to some extent I have spurned the advice that sometime you have to let them crash an burn before you can help them because this will happen anyway ) for this reason i have been searching for how to approach this I have been looking at the Art of war Szun tzu hoping this will help guide me in winning in this battle an have found many pearls of wisdom in there this one was requoted by the Dali lama apparently and it seemed very apt in dealing with people with BPD Sun Tzu The Art Of War.: " Do Not Let The Behavior Of Others Destroy Your Inner Peace " ... .Dalai Lama If anyone can share there wisdom or the wisdom of others in pressing a course of action home it would be much appreciated ( Dont lose your cool is going to have to be one of my mantras soon ) Title: Re: searching for wisdom Post by: BestVersionOfMe on February 02, 2015, 09:50:01 PM I normally try to work things out through reasoning understanding and resourcefulness like many here I find myself having plumbed their depths find little remains but direct confrontation ( M linehan s advice on this is when self destructive acts are faced remedial action is required , to some extent I have spurned the advice that sometime you have to let them crash an burn before you can help them because this will happen anyway ) for this reason i have been searching for how to approach this I have been looking at the Art of war Szun tzu an hope this will help guide me in winning in this battle an have found many pearls of wisdom in there this one was requoted by the Dali lama apparently and it seemed very apt in dealing with people with BPD Sun Tzu The Art Of War.: " Do Not Let The Behavior Of Others Destroy Your Inner Peace " ... .Dalai Lama If anyone can share there wisdom or the wisdom of others in pressing a course of action home it would be much appreciated ( Dont lose your cool is going to have to be one of my mantras soon ) In other words use your brain and don't swing for the fences and see if you can coax your SO off the edge? I believe in that too but it depends on an honest assessment of his/her functionality. I think if they are violent, self destructive, suicidal, that there is nothing you can do and you should get out. If they are fairly functional and are just unrealistic, rude, and excessive blamers, it might be doable if you use the right techniques. I happen to be in the second camp. Title: Re: searching for wisdom Post by: Mutt on February 03, 2015, 10:00:44 AM Hi SlyQQ,
I've come to learn if it's not one thing it's another with my ex wife. I try to flow with whatever may happen with mind, body and heart and radically accept reality for what it is. I find peace with her chaotic life-choices by remaining centered. Excerpt “Flow with whatever may happen, and . . . be free: Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.” Zhuangz |