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Not sure what is going on here.  I know there are issues causing her stress.  But, these are the same issues and not new ones.  Stuff she has already admitted to and is aware of, yet still stressed about and taking out on me.

I started taking medicine for adult ADHD.   I was warned it could make anxiety worse, and I think it has.  P says I may need to take an SSRI for anxiety at the same time.  I think I will try that.   Problem is, anxiety is normally manageable.  But tense situations feel a while lot more tense, and I return to baseline much slower.  And there have been daily tense situations the past few weeks!

And here I am - having issues with ED no doubt because of stress, loss of appetite, not sleeping well... .  and I wake to stomping around, slamming doors, cursing... .  Last night was the rant about how she should have never moved here, has no money, life sucks, should just die, etc... .30 mins later, hugging me crying says she really wants a baby.  ?  The laws of nature must work different in the BPD universe! 

   

Hang in there max!  If you check out my thread about hotel room in strange city... .I think some of "my" PTSD issues... .contributed.  It is... .what it is.

I'm taking that into account to think about boundaries for the future... .basically... what will I do next time the yelling starts anywhere... or specifically... .in the house of a FOO.

I think you know how babies are made, Max,

Unless you want to be the father of one, take steps to protect your side of that deal. She could catch you off guard, stop using whatever she uses for birth control and not tell you, say she is using something but isn't. I don't mean to be graphic, but you should use protection for your part of that process if you want some say in this.

Max remember in your wife's mind or part of it that baby might just make everything all right. No logic involved.

It sounds like your body and your mind are giving you some clear signals that things are not ok for you and haven't been for a while now.

Can you identify what it is that is causing you the most stress right now ?

Have you been clear with your wife around the issue of starting a family aside from ED, does she know want you want, do you ?

Max your current difficulties made me think again about what you posted here.

You mentioned the possibility of taking an SSRI for anxiety. I want to say that anxiety is also a warning sign that we are not coping. One way of looking at anxiety for me is as a defence mechanism that is protecting our conscious mind from thoughts and feelings that are too difficult to contemplate. For me it can represent a disjuncture between mind and body. Try and listen to what your physical symptoms are telling you? How are they at the moment?

You posted this before your wife's most recent dysregulation and I thought about it in relation to how stressed you are feeling and all that has been happening.

What you have outlined in this post is really important because it might provide you with valuable information to help you protect yourself better.

I know you have your own T, where is the focus for you in your work there ? ( you don't have to post an answer ) just food for thought.

Sweetheart- I wish there was a "like button " for your posts.

thanks for bringing this up.  I actually mentioned this in MC today, that I feel like the issues of this week were building for weeks, and that slow accumulation of issues already had me worn out when she exploded on me Tuesday night. 

Can you tell us about MC today?  What did you wife have to say about her behavior?

Don't get her pregnant.  Borderlines make awful mothers.  Your kid will end up messed up.

I understand the terrible anxiety.  I had trouble breathing... .blood pressure though the roof.  And most anxiety and depression meds can make the ED worse.  But you need to get it under control.  You can't live like this.  She will shorten your life if you stay with her.