BPDFamily.com

7 weeks out, 3 weeks no contact, and one of her students came up to me yesterday asking if I had married his teach yet. I told him everything that happened and he broke down and wept on me. Today, I am feeling self righteously angry over her actions, her giving all this up, all the people she has hurt, and her breaking our engagement to run off to seattle with her downgrade and then some ex boyfriend from seven years ago. I am livid right now. I texted her father, who hasn't spoken to me in these seven weeks to just flat out ask him if this is what he wanted? Got a lame response that he can't get emotional and is just trying to make decisions based on reason, but monitoring his daughter closely. Really? She's in Seattle, you're in Florida, and she's already gotten her car wrecked driving cross country to the new guy. Way to monitor.

Don't know how long your relationship lasted but I can tell you the anger DOES come and go.

I am almost 18 months out and I am JUST NOW able to shrug my shoulders and move past it and not SIT in my anger stewing for days.

What I have learned is there may be 7 stages of grief, but they do NOT come in order and you do NOT pass through each stage only once.

Hang in there.  See her behavior and realize she gave you a blessed look into what your future COULD have been.  Not a pretty picture.  Hurts like hell right now.

But, eventually the pain subsides and as long as you remain strict NC, you can restore some semblance of normality to your life.

If you had stayed, life as you know it, would never be "normal" or stable again.

I too, was jilted, just a few days prior to the wedding.  What a favor he did me, now that I see where he is and what he's doing these days.

Good riddance.

Yes.

I went through the anger stage more than once.

Heldfast, things are still raw right now and moving at a quick pace. I'm sorry.

To give her dad a little credit, he may of tried to stay centered. It's hard to win her family over? I sent angry emails to her family and friends a month after the break-up asking how they condoned her cheating. I got one response on how I was a monster from one of her friends.

Anger's normal.

Remember. Blood is thicker than water.

Hang in there.

~Mutt

Hey,

believe me I am thousand times more anyry... .In my relationship, I have lots of sympathy. Therefore, I not only forgave his bad words again and again, but also paid for our vocation by myself (although he earned more than I) and bought him presents, gave him job Information etc. Finally, he still hurted me with the worst words I have ever heard of this world and said to me, he needed to finish me and go to another girl and arrange another coffee. He said he only used me and wanted to manipulate me.  

Incredible. Sometimes, I think it doesn't matter whether he is ill or not, the hehavior is just not like a human being. I don't know how his teacher told him to do that in the primary school.

But I have to let it go. No other way... .Because it doesn't matter how sad I am, how angry I am, he just does not care.