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Title: Thank you. Try to see it as a gift. Post by: H Hi on February 04, 2015, 04:28:01 PM Hello everyone.
I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who supported me when I reached out, when I was lost, when I was on my knees and when I didn't want to be alive. I saw my ex on Saturday. She was not pleased to see me. It was civil and we hugged. Everything was still my fault and she could not return anything I said to her, but she never could when we were together, unless she "needed" it. I have learnt so much about myself. Never will I tolerate such appalling and cruel behaviour from another individual. Never will I be distracted by good looks and mystery. She is not mentally well, I was not emotionally healthy to want to be with her. The breakup is the hardest thing I have ever experienced, other than my childhood, and that's the link in all of our stories. I have questioned every area of my life and realised I was unhappy before I met her. I looked at her and the relationship to "save" me and give my life purpose once I was being put on the pedestal. If I was healthy I would have questioned this, looked for consistency and integrity, saw it wasn't there and ran a mile. I'm glad I got out when I did. I was a nervous wreck in ill health. I'm turning a new page, a blank page. My future and I'm writing it. I'm going to delete every message from her, burn whatever she gave me (which wasn't a lot), sell my house, quit my job, go travelling and live a new life. My life the way I want to live it. Not someone else's. I'm going to stop looking on this site and reading about BPD. I understand what I do, some of the things I just can't understand and nor do I want to. A lot of it is just unexplainable. She couldn't explain it because she's disordered. Thank you so much to everyone on this site. You are amazing people and this site has been a beacon during the darkest time of my life. Take care and I wish you all a really happy and fulfilling future that is peaceful without drama and full of adult reciprocal love. Title: Re: Thank you. Try to see it as a gift. Post by: Trog on February 04, 2015, 04:32:00 PM |iiii - awesome
Its always great to hear from people who have reached the end of the shawshank tunnel, ripped off the shirt and heading to Mexico. Well done on looking at you. I know I have a lot more of that to do. Good luck. |