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Title: Partner kept crossing my boundaries Post by: rise_up on February 04, 2015, 07:24:36 PM My partner wBPD has over the past few weeks begun saying more firmly that she is ashamed of her behavior sometimes and experiences a lot of remorse when she "makes me feel stupid"-her words. She has potential to take a lot of ownership and she has. She blew up over her beer getting spilled and blaming me but very shortly after caught herseld and apologized.
Tonight was different though... .in a bad way. We want out for drinks with friends and came home in separate vehicles. She was exhausted and was laying on the bed. I asked if she was hungry and she asked for potatoes. I gladly started preparing her meal. I desperately had to pee and still had my work clothes on but still spent 15 mins making her food. When it was ready, I woke her up and she changed and saw the plate. I had put sour cream on it just the way she likes it. She came out, touched the food and said "it's stone cold". Then it went downhill from there. Yelling about why I would think to put cold sour cream on hot potatoes when she has to reheat it in the microwave. It would curdls. I apologized saying I thought t would be hot enough. She didn't let it go. Started stomping about repeating herself. She KNoWS that screaming and slamming doors is a HUGE boundary. Yet still did it. After two warnings, she didn't listen. I said this is not ok, I'm leaving for 15 mins. She kept yelling after I shut the door selfish b!tch. I just returned and she is out on the balcony with the door ___. I'm not sure if she has calmed down or not. Im really tired and I iust want to have a good evening. I'm looking for some perspective and if there is anything I'm missing. Thanks Title: Re: Partner kept crossing my boundaries Post by: formflier on February 05, 2015, 10:43:33 PM Very frustrating... .I'm working on boundaries in my r/s as well. How did you choose the time to enforce your boundary? |