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Title: Bad day made worse Post by: Seriously? on February 04, 2015, 09:53:22 PM My BPDh and I are just recently on speaking terms after about 7.5 months and agreed to go to counseling. I had a bad day at work. My car was in the shop and my dad was helping me bring it home. We live in a snowy area. The trip just to my dad's took an hour and a half and then we had to drive about an hour each way to pick up the car and bring it home. The roads were bad. I was talking to my husband when I was about 15 minutes from my dad's telling him how bad the drive was. I guess earlier in the day, my husband had gone out and it was not as bad where he was. He questioned me about how long it had taken me. I explained the freeway was practically a parking lot. He questioned me further. I said I was not even in the same area he had been in. We hung up and I thought nothing more of it. He called me back 5 minutes to say it just didn't add up. I told him I'd call him when I got home (we don't live together now). I just called him after spending almost 4 hours total on the road after working all day. He didn't answer. It just really reminded me how he used to question me about all kinds of things. He would think he caught me lying. It was generally over something just as innocuous as this. None of it made any difference tonight because it's not like he was worried or that he would have even known about any of it had I not told him. So, already a bad day, and he makes it worse just by being a little paranoid. Sounds silly, but it kind of triggered me until I thought there's no explanation that will satisfy him right now. He is just being completely unreasonable. His behavior and words don't have anything to do with me. They are all him.
Title: Re: Bad day made worse Post by: BestVersionOfMe on February 05, 2015, 11:22:46 AM My BPDh and I are just recently on speaking terms after about 7.5 months and agreed to go to counseling. I had a bad day at work. My car was in the shop and my dad was helping me bring it home. We live in a snowy area. The trip just to my dad's took an hour and a half and then we had to drive about an hour each way to pick up the car and bring it home. The roads were bad. I was talking to my husband when I was about 15 minutes from my dad's telling him how bad the drive was. I guess earlier in the day, my husband had gone out and it was not as bad where he was. He questioned me about how long it had taken me. I explained the freeway was practically a parking lot. He questioned me further. I said I was not even in the same area he had been in. We hung up and I thought nothing more of it. He called me back 5 minutes to say it just didn't add up. I told him I'd call him when I got home (we don't live together now). I just called him after spending almost 4 hours total on the road after working all day. He didn't answer. It just really reminded me how he used to question me about all kinds of things. He would think he caught me lying. It was generally over something just as innocuous as this. None of it made any difference tonight because it's not like he was worried or that he would have even known about any of it had I not told him. So, already a bad day, and he makes it worse just by being a little paranoid. Sounds silly, but it kind of triggered me until I thought there's no explanation that will satisfy him right now. He is just being completely unreasonable. His behavior and words don't have anything to do with me. They are all him. The last sentence is the only takeaway here. :) Title: Re: Bad day made worse Post by: cloudten on February 05, 2015, 03:24:40 PM I am sure it drove you nuts... .and kinda gives you that "what the heck?" kind of feeling. It's him not you... .that's the good news!
I'm sorry for all of your car issues! Maybe, was he mildly upset your dad helped instead of asking him? My BPD gets that way and takes it out on me in other ways. He didn't get a chance to be your savior. Sometimes less information is more... .even with things you think don't matter. I hope you have a better day today! |