Title: The debt I owe my dog Post by: ADecadeLost on February 05, 2015, 07:57:04 PM A strange thought crossed my mind while day dreaming/zoning in the office today: "I wouldn't be where I am at in my recovery if it wasn't for my dog."
Now, my dog is not the type of pet that seems to be in touch with their owners emotions or even what most would qualify as a good dog. In fact, she's behaviorally one of the worst dogs I've ever owned (We're talking about a dog that's behavior when younger made the dog in Marley & Me look well behaved). Yet, as I reflect on the last six months, her presence is in large part responsible for my emotional survival/recovery. My ex's timing for the divorce could not have been more perfectly awful. The week before marked one of my two closest friends move out of state. The week after marked the others move out of the country. With no family or other close friends in state, I found myself incredibly alone as I tried to understand/cope with my situation. Outside of the routine of work, I didn't have much. But I did have my dog, and taking care of her prevented me from wallowing in my sadness during the aftermath. Caring for her forced me to develop the routine I desperately needed in my personal life. She ensured I was up early to walk her (preventing me from ever missing work, even on tough days) and allowed me to develop a routine that kept me out of an empty house for at least a short while after work each evening. Running her at the dog park had always been a semi-regular part of my life, but became a daily ritual in the wake of the divorce announcement. And while the purpose of these trips was for her benefit, it quickly became apparent just how beneficial it was for me. It forced me into the sun and fresh air. It cleared my mind and allowed me to think. And perhaps more importantly, it set me on the path to better physical health as I found myself walking miles a day around the parks quarter mile loop. Then, as I moved forward in the healing process, it provided an even greater benefit to my recovery. As she ran (often for 3+ hours on an average Saturday morning), I was "forced" to interact socially. For someone whose social network (excluding professional connections) had essentially been depleted in a 2.5 week span, this "forced" interaction was just what the doctor ordered. Even casual conversation with random strangers seemed to have a rejuvenating effect. It allowed me to feel more like me again. It broke up the loneliness I was still feeling at the time and somehow made me feel more confident in myself. And with time, random strangers became less strange and less random. Six months in, I can now see how indebted I am to my dear pup. The routine I developed caring for her did so much for me. It provided me with a daily window to clear my mind and think (processing my situation in a way I doubt could have happened as quickly sitting in an empty home). It started the push towards physical wellness that now has me weighing in below 200 lbs for the first time in a decade. And it has allowed me to begin rebuilding a social network that was so desperately lacking in recent months. For these things (and so much more), I owe my dog. Her loving presence, however poorly mannered, provided me with the forcing and opportunity I needed to move my way through the process of detaching. Without her, and the routine she forced upon me, I hate to think of how much slower and more grueling this process would have been. I think I need to wrap this up now and go give her a hug. Title: Re: The debt I owe my dog Post by: Suzn on February 05, 2015, 08:19:26 PM I feel exactly the same way about my two little dogs. It helped me focus on their care many times. Even now, they are my unconditional love, my buddies and my heating blanket at night. :) They love to be held and snuggle up.
I've taken them all over, the dog parks, walks along the river (though that's not always fun with the presents the geese leave everywhere) They get me out. We have a routine and I have no intentions of changing that for anyone. My vet allows me to buy their once a month flea meds once a month so we have a standing appt to drive out to see him and the other animals. It's nice and I thank them often with hugs and once in a while I cook something for them. Vet approved of course. Love my buddies. Title: Re: The debt I owe my dog Post by: Panda39 on February 05, 2015, 08:51:35 PM When I was going through my divorce I walked a lot too, but on my own. One of my favorite places to walk was the dog park. I got lots of dog lovin' from the dogs of strangers. They would bound up to me tails wagging, tongues hanging out and let me give them a quick pat or scratch behind the ear and then run off to check out a prairie dog hole or chase a ball. Watching them run and jump in the pond was hilarious... .this was when you didn't want them running up and getting friendly A couple friends I made tried to jump in my car and come home with me! The joy in those bouncing fur balls and the unconditional love was really wonderful when my life was stressful.
Title: Re: The debt I owe my dog Post by: eyvindr on February 05, 2015, 09:46:07 PM It's an amazing facet of being human that we can, almost without intention at all, find our attention and energies turned from negative to positive -- if we just allow it to happen. I think it has something to do with what in some circles is referred to as basic human goodness.
For me, it was my son. I've said many times, to many people, that I really think, after my divorce, having my son to raise may very well have saved my life. The responsibilities -- the challenges, and the joys -- of parenting gave me something real and tangible and important and fulfilling to focus on. That caused my energy to be redirected from the wallowing over my lost life, marriage, fantasy, dream, lover, wife, etc. In working through our pain, it can be a tremendous surprise that we can learn to experience gratitude. Title: Re: The debt I owe my dog Post by: Hazelrah on February 06, 2015, 03:52:41 PM A strange thought crossed my mind while day dreaming/zoning in the office today: "I wouldn't be where I am at in my recovery if it wasn't for my dog." Now, my dog is not the type of pet that seems to be in touch with their owners emotions or even what most would qualify as a good dog. In fact, she's behaviorally one of the worst dogs I've ever owned (We're talking about a dog that's behavior when younger made the dog in Marley & Me look well behaved). Yet, as I reflect on the last six months, her presence is in large part responsible for my emotional survival/recovery. My ex's timing for the divorce could not have been more perfectly awful. The week before marked one of my two closest friends move out of state. The week after marked the others move out of the country. With no family or other close friends in state, I found myself incredibly alone as I tried to understand/cope with my situation. Outside of the routine of work, I didn't have much. But I did have my dog, and taking care of her prevented me from wallowing in my sadness during the aftermath. Caring for her forced me to develop the routine I desperately needed in my personal life. She ensured I was up early to walk her (preventing me from ever missing work, even on tough days) and allowed me to develop a routine that kept me out of an empty house for at least a short while after work each evening. Running her at the dog park had always been a semi-regular part of my life, but became a daily ritual in the wake of the divorce announcement. And while the purpose of these trips was for her benefit, it quickly became apparent just how beneficial it was for me. It forced me into the sun and fresh air. It cleared my mind and allowed me to think. And perhaps more importantly, it set me on the path to better physical health as I found myself walking miles a day around the parks quarter mile loop. Then, as I moved forward in the healing process, it provided an even greater benefit to my recovery. As she ran (often for 3+ hours on an average Saturday morning), I was "forced" to interact socially. For someone whose social network (excluding professional connections) had essentially been depleted in a 2.5 week span, this "forced" interaction was just what the doctor ordered. Even casual conversation with random strangers seemed to have a rejuvenating effect. It allowed me to feel more like me again. It broke up the loneliness I was still feeling at the time and somehow made me feel more confident in myself. And with time, random strangers became less strange and less random. Six months in, I can now see how indebted I am to my dear pup. The routine I developed caring for her did so much for me. It provided me with a daily window to clear my mind and think (processing my situation in a way I doubt could have happened as quickly sitting in an empty home). It started the push towards physical wellness that now has me weighing in below 200 lbs for the first time in a decade. And it has allowed me to begin rebuilding a social network that was so desperately lacking in recent months. For these things (and so much more), I owe my dog. Her loving presence, however poorly mannered, provided me with the forcing and opportunity I needed to move my way through the process of detaching. Without her, and the routine she forced upon me, I hate to think of how much slower and more grueling this process would have been. I think I need to wrap this up now and go give her a hug. Show us your pet :)... . https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=97716.0 Title: Re: The debt I owe my dog Post by: ADecadeLost on February 06, 2015, 08:03:51 PM Thanks guys/gals.
Panda - The added furry friends at the park are certainly a part of it as well. I'm greeted by the same little buddy (affectionately known as "short one" every Saturday and Sunday morning. I don't know what I did to endear myself to him, but regardless of where he is in the park he comes wandering up to say hello when I enter. A quick pat on the head and he's on his way, but it certainly starts my morning with a smile. Hazelrah - I'll see if I can find a pic on my laptop and add it to the list. Title: Re: The debt I owe my dog Post by: Trog on February 07, 2015, 03:00:02 PM I've always had dogs until a few years ago. They are the most wonderful animals.
I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am - They are the guardians of being, sentient, I truly believe they care for their owners in a special way. Unfortunately I work all day, if that were not the case I would always be a dog owner. Title: Re: The debt I owe my dog Post by: ADecadeLost on February 07, 2015, 03:16:32 PM Full time jobs make it tough, Trog. If you can make it work though, it's always worth it. I'm lucky that I can bring her with me to office if I want (only do this once in a while), but I think she prefers to sleep around the house all day anyway.
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