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My ex has been smearing my name amongst mutual friends. These people were not close friends but the problem is, once these things get going you never know how far they can spread. The one good thing I suppose is that someone that would make a decision about a person by just hearing one side of the story is probably not worth knowing anyhow. I do not wish my ex ill, I just want to put this whole thing behind me and move on with life but this stuff just keeps the whole thing going.

According to my T this week.They love this DRAMA and they love to ''keep it going''.It is up to us to draw the line in the sand and run away and not play into any of it.

Remember it takes 2 people to fight.If we run away that leaves 1.They will have to find someone else to raise there hand in and enter the ring.

Also I read on here today about ''Boundries''.You need to set boundries with mutual friends.Something like this.

'' Could you please not mention my ex or give me any info what so ever on what she is doing or saying''.

That is respect for you and you don't have to hear nothing and then run away.Now you are out of the drama.

This is just a thought.Hang in there.I am blacker than black too.I get it.

Hi drummerboy,

It's frustrating and stressful when bad things are spread around and it causes anxiety not knowing the extent that it spreads or what's said. You may feel scared, it's not fun.

This is on her, it's not for you to worry about. The best way to deal with this is say absolutely nothing and remain radio-silent. It'll end quicker.

Hang in there.

----Mutt

This is why I'm almost glad I put everything out in the open before she had the chance to.

It was pretty difficult for her to try and paint me out to be a crazy stalker to all her friends when her obsessive facebook/text messages to me could be found just by Googling her name. Hard for her to say "we never dated, he's making up stories" when everybody could see text messages sent from her number inviting me over late at night or talking about going to concerts together.

I am unsure if that makes me a terrible person, but in the long run it saved me so much grief y'all have no idea. Maybe I'm just lucky I'm young enough where it's still socially acceptable to do that.

its tough to ignore, but I found that is the best way to handle it. They can only play if you hit the ball back and respond. Once I went total nc with mine, seh texted, called, facebook messages, had her friends and relatives text me and harrass me. I was smeared, called all kinds of names. I stayed NC and after 4 months it has stopped. It may start back tomorrow but for about 3 weeks nothing. It other words she got bored with it and moved on. She didnt get what she wanted was which was to get me to respond, engage her in any form. Once I didnt she stopped.

Been there just 8 weeks ago. It's such a bummer someone you don't wish ill on or have fond feelings for except some disappointment and frustrations. But to humiliate and smear is just trashy. Rise above I could go into my sad story but no thanks. Read previous posts. Don't do what your ex does I've walked away a class act. I sleep well.

What is the smear and how did you find out?