BPDFamily.com

Hey all,

We're both 19, she lives in the flat next door. The day I met her we went out to the club, she was giving me the typical puppy eyes that shout 'kiss me' and we were talking quite a lot, I kissed her before we even got to the club, when we did get there we had an awesome night just the two of us. Later when we came back home we took it to the sheets, I took her virginity. It's not usual for me to date a girl I met in a club and took to bed the first time I met her, I put her to the test to get to know her. She kept saying how amazing I was and how I was different and that's why she slept with me, I believed her, I mean, I took her virginity she was fun to hang around with, I'd spend the weekends at hers. After a month of a "just fun and games" relationship, she started sending me good morning texts being all cute, and I though "wth I'll answer" and so it started. After a couple of months we developed to the girlfriend and boyfriend status, I started noticing a few things. She'd often get upset really easily at quite trivial things, I'd just let fly by, and sometimes she'd say something like "that's rude" but never with bad intention, little things. If she saw I was upset she'd make everything to make me alright.

One day she got too drunk and was letting guys at the club grab her a$$ in front of my eyes, I left. After that we started having a lot of arguments on nights out, and things stopped being that fun. The relationship was very physical, we didn't talk much, I started noticing she was always texting people, but hey don't all girls do that?

We decided to take the holidays to think about our relationship, 1 week into them she said she didn't want anything anymore, but I thought there was a big possibility of us getting back together. We both went back to uni the same day and in that night I saw her on a flat party. I thought we were hitting off and that things were looking good, but noticed she was still treating me has if I was her boyfriend, with all the bossy things.

This is where the weird stuff begins

I told her I was going back to my flat and said goodnight, a few moments later a friend of mine comes in and says he had to leave the kitchen where she was with a friend cause they were getting handsy, I flipped. Went in there pretending I forgot my wallet, first thing she said was 'we were just talking about this and that' something of the likes, made me think she was trying to excuse herself, I just said ok. Us 3 (me, her and her friend) and other 3 friends all went to her room. There he was putting his hand on her leg almost somewhere else. She saw I was getting annoyed at the situation and she kicked everyone out... .all but her friend. I went to bed, a few days later I told her we needed to talk, I told her she was single she can go with whomever she wants. She said nothing happened blabla we ended up making out.

Everything was fine for a week or so, then we went out, and I got too drunk and messed up, I admit it was my fault.

After that, she didn't talk to me for a week and she was always with that guy friend of hers, she'd post pictures on snapchat with him to make me jealous. After that one week I was with her, she got drunk. She was telling me to my face how great he was and he was more than a friend, how hot he is and such, and I asked, seeing how she was trying to make me jealous, 'like a boyfriend', 'no, he's just so amazing and he gets me' 'why don't you get him to come over then?' she did.

I noticed before he got there she was trying really, really hard to get my attention.

When he got there he was putting his hand on her a$$ and she was holding his hand while looking me in the eye. I left, just said, "have fun" to which she said "wait what do you mean have fun what do you mean, you're weird"

I though I never wanted to see her again but her living next door, and her best friend being my flatmate, it's impossible.

Other flat parties, we're chilling, kissing, sometimes sex, and I notice she craves attention. She's getting annoyed saying people just want to use her, when I ask her friend if she's ok, she gets upset at me for asking the other girl, and not her (I think) she's told me stuff like "I'm gonna cut my thumb on this can should I?" To see if I'm gonna pay attention to her. One night we were in the room watching a film with another guy, and I'm like "yo lets go eat I'm hungry she's like "wait I'm talking" with an attitude, then when she wants to leave I say the same, she sits down for 20 second commenting on how bored she was and leaves. Sends me a text, I don't reply for 10 min I get out, she's kicking the fridge and throwing stuff around, saying I didn't reply, and she says to leave her alone. She's said that before cause she expects me to stay and try comforting her, but we're single, it's not my job anymore, I left. She still sent me a text saying he was saying funny stuff about me and that's why she left. Another day she said she was drunk and she actually did think he was saying stuff about me and that we were talking about her that's why she got annoyed.

This is the part I flip.

4am, just finished having sex twice with her (she always ALWAYS horny, but hey, so am I) she says I need to leave cause if I'm with her I won't sleep (she has trouble sleeping, sometimes 1h 2h a night), I got really suspicious, she's never kicked me out before, and I see her texting someone, she sees I'm suspicious and says she's texting her cousin because of this and that. I'm getting annoyed, she sheds a tear in front of me saying it breaks her heart that I don't trust her.

I wait up, all paranoid looking through the hole on the door. My suspicions turn out to be correct, her best friend, the guy I've seen grab her a$$ in front of my two eyes comes in. I open the door, and just say, "never talk to me again b___" and proceed to send A LOT of really offensive texts.

Next day she sends me a bunch of texts saying nothing happened that I don't understand, that he's a really good friend but it's just that. She comes to my flat to talk, we end up having sex (they're always sending snapchats to each other forgot to mention that)

After that we go out one night, she's drunk. I go away for 30min, I come back she's furious saying she sent me a text and I didn't answer I say I didn't get anything pointing with my phone she takes it from my hand goes to my messages and sees if I did get it, realises I didn't gives it back to me after that she was trying to make everyone leave without me just to annoy me, she's giving her number away to guys and I saw her sending a text to the usual best friend saying "if I leave people are gonna ask"

I noticed I was blind in the beginning and didn't see how much she craves attention, she says we often don't understand each other, cause I think sometimes she's speaking in a mean way, and she thinks the same. Now, do you think this is BPD? She's lost her father it might come from that... .I'm trying to forget her, but I find myself thinking about her everyday, it's not love, but I think about her. I think it's the sex lol. Just last night I went to her flat to chill with her and we had some good laughs talked, made out, but didn't have sex (because I thought it was best not to)

Thoughts?

EDIT: She still walks around everywhere with this other guy even though just last night I went to her flat to make out with her. She's sworn to me over and over again that nothing has happened, that he might have feelings for her (might... .lol) that the night he went at 4am he was just passing by and when I left he texted her asking if she wanted to chill, they ate fried eggs and that was it. When she left her flat to go get the block door for him she was looking at my flat door all sneaky with a face that said she was scared of getting caught, she has admitted that they've slept in the same bed, but nothing happened. I've caught her lying quite a few times, and she's lied to her best friend as well, cause she's also my best friend, I know, I think she doesn't want people judging her actions.

Should you believe that nothing is happening with this other guy who has his hands all over her and sleeps in her bed and is with her all the time? I don't know exactly what is going on, but clearly something is.

Should you believe that this girl who told you she was a virgin yet decided to sleep with you right after she met you likes to drink, flirt, and sends you mixed messages and is is impulsive?

Believe what you see. Naturally you think about her. You're attracted to her and you've had sex with her. Although casual hook ups are popular with some college age kids, one concern about having sex with someone you hardly know is that the attraction and good feelings might lead you to overlook other aspects of a person.

However, you are also observing behaviors that bother you and are bring cautious. Listen to your feelings. They will tell you how to proceed from here. The choice to be in a r/s with her is yours.