BPDFamily.com

My exBPDgf had all the symptoms of BPD, although undiagnosed.

As a young child and into her teenage years, she was actually bought up by her Grandmother.  Both her mother and father where to busy with their careers to give her the time needed as her parents.

Could BPD be brought on by this type of thing?  It wasn't as if her parents abandoned her, it was just they spent so little time with her as a child, and left that responsibility to her Grandmother.

In my experience, and my experience is what I've been told by professionals, this could be something that could cultivate BPD traits.  People with unstable FOO relationships tend to have unstable relationships as adults.  It seems possible to me that there was FOO instability in her past.

Also, it could have been a very loving and stable environment.  You probably cannot ever know this. 

True, we can only speculate. We have grandparents here who are parenting their grandchildren whose parent is BPD, and from the few stories I've seen, seem to be very dedicated and loving. Who knows how your exBPDgf reacted to her parents' neglect, Willingtolearn?

I also wouldn't discount that development of BPD has a large part to do with inborn traits like emotional resilience. The lack thereof, often in combination with neglect, abuse, or growing up in an invalidating household, can contribute greatly to the development of BPD. On the other hand, we also have parents here who have multiple children who don't exhibit BPD traits, except for one of their children.

My ex-wife was essentially raised by her maid/nanny.  Coupled with her parents poor relationship during her early years, I'd say it probably played a role in her case.