BPDFamily.com

 

Just a check in and update on my new year's goal to get a better grip on my own life.

I've done some job seeking/career building exercises over the has month or so, and things have been paying off.  My portfolio of works is growing, and really shaping up into something that I will be able to start using to promote my talents in a few months if I keep up this pace.  This work can potentially lead me into the 'starving artist' category, so I'm taking this very slow.  But it is also the most true reflection of who I am and what I'm good at, so it is my main focus, regardless of financial rewards.

I've been offered two babysitting jobs, and my boss from last summer contacted me and offered me a promotion - from housekeeping at a vacation resort to front desk!  The down side of this is that they all start in May, so promises for the future but nothing for today.  Welcome to living in a tourist town!

I've also approached a mission group, offering my services on a new project that they are in the process of getting started.  This would be less of a job (more working for room and board and chump change) but it sure would do my soul some good!  This position would require me to be about four hours away from home while in the throngs of the project, so this is a touchy subject with my BPDh. 

We haven't really discussed this aspect of the position, but he does know I have offered to get involved.  Should this opportunity come to fruition, I'm not sure I what I would choose, but right now is about identifying opportunities for me to get back into being a professional, contributing member of society.  So I'm not taking anything off the table because of his possible reactions.  This is about me.  Not him.

I also had a good ego boost this week.  I shared our situation with my son, who is very successful in his career, and told him of our circumstances.  He had no idea things were that bad, financially for us.  I was venting and trying to explain why he may not be getting anything for his birthday, coming soon, because of where we are.  He wasn't concerned about that at all, but was really understanding.  The conversation ended with me thanking him for letting me vent, and for his understanding. 

Then I went out and shovelled the snow off the neighbour's roof.  He had asked us about a month ago to keep an eye on it, because it's just a camp for him and he's away for the winter, but my h just kept saying, it's not worth doing the job.  I got up on the roof to really look and realized there was a thick layer of heavy ice under a fair bit of snow and that it was best to clear it away before any more got on it.  My h was busy doing his own thing, but once he saw what I was doing, he did drop his 'fun' activity and helped me complete the job.  Once complete, I got on the phone with the neighbour and negotiated a nice price for the work we did.  Neighbour was happy and I was on cloud nine! 

BPDh was belittled, I think, by the fact that I took this on and took the gift horse by the mane, and got the job done, where he just brushed it off over and over again.  But whatever... .someone had to take the lead and he wasn't doing it.

When I got home there was an e-transfer from my boy... .Happy be-lated Christmas gift!  He said he loved us and was so grateful for everything we've done for him that he was happy to help us anyway possible.     He's become a wonderful man, and I'm so proud of him.  Cant wait till he gets married and has babies  :)

Good luck w new ideas! It's great to hear good things in our roads to recovery.

Tourist town... .Got some relatives who live in one... .the quote was "Half your pay is the view of the bay." If you are happy with the whole package of consequences of choosing to live there, all is good!

|iiii Fantastic to hear you having good momentum. You know which direction you want to go, and you are moving that-a-way with every two steps forward. I hope you can find peace with the one step back that follows, and step forward again.