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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Crayfog on February 14, 2015, 11:16:26 AM



Title: Hubby's uBPDew has sunk to new lows.
Post by: Crayfog on February 14, 2015, 11:16:26 AM
In addition to lies, manipulating the children, screaming at them and us during exchanges in public... .She's begun harassing me with bursts of texts. And multiple phone calls from various numbers over a few short minutes. Every time I diffuse or ignore.

But now... .She has cyber stalked MY ex-husband and seeks to cause more damage through him. She even messaged him during her time with the children. Instead of hanging out with them she was searching for him and planning who knows what. This is just plain insanity. He and I have worked so hard to be GOOD co-parents (unlike her) and I really feel the need to make it all stop. But then my step-kids are caught in the cross hairs.

I'm so tired of her crap. Im trying SO hard to remind myself that she's sick. That I can't control her. But none of the tools are working. What's wrong with me? I can quote books and articles and conversations here but I still feel like she's got her claws in me.


Title: Re: Hubby's uBPDew has sunk to new lows.
Post by: ForeverDad on February 14, 2015, 01:36:17 PM
He and I have worked so hard to be GOOD co-parents (unlike her)

Does he understand that any communication foments the conflict and feeds the frenzy?  He has no connection with her, so can he have a boundary to ignore her?  If she pesters him and they're not obligated to an contact such as for shared children, then I suspect he would have every right to file harassment or restraining or something, a lawyer could advise.  Would your ex do that?


Title: Re: Hubby's uBPDew has sunk to new lows.
Post by: Crayfog on February 14, 2015, 01:58:07 PM
Yes he understands. I warned him she might months ago. He says he won't reply but when I asked him to block her he got upset and said he didn't want to be involved.

I'm more worried about the damage a letter of lies will do. Even if he knows she's unbalanced he will still be concerned and I will have to diffuse all that.

I want hubby to get a lawyer and then I can file a non contact to at least protect me. If she continues to bother my ex I hope he will do the same. At this point he's made a firm boundary that blocking or filing a harassment claim means he's getting involved on our side somehow.


Title: Re: Hubby's uBPDew has sunk to new lows.
Post by: Crayfog on February 14, 2015, 01:59:34 PM
She's threatened to contact him before and let him know what an inappropriate household his son lives in when he's away from him. Lies. But we all know how hard it is to untangle their lies.