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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Trog on February 15, 2015, 01:01:28 PM



Title: Making the effort - From depression to hope in a week
Post by: Trog on February 15, 2015, 01:01:28 PM
With yesterday being 14th Feb and having felt so bad all week since re-reading my emails to my ex it took a gargantuan effort on my part last night not to just sit at home and not bother going out. I was talking myself out of it all night, that I wouldn't meet any women I found attractive, no one would talk to me, it would be a waste of money to go... .all the usual stupid crap you tell yourself when you're depressed. And it was amazing. I met two women who were incredibly attractive and super nice and intelligent and I go out with both of them next week. Its amazing how much this has changed my mood from last weeks depression to looking forward to next week and at least making two new friends if nothing goes any further. Its the first time I've been really attracted to another woman since my ex... .and there's two of them, both younger, brighter and better looking than my ex (doesn't hurt does it!). I've felt like death for ages. I really recommend making the effort to get out and about, not to isolate and dwell, you never know which time when you make the effort it will pay off.  |iiii


Title: Re: Making the effort - From depression to hope in a week
Post by: going places on February 16, 2015, 06:21:45 AM
With yesterday being 14th Feb and having felt so bad all week since re-reading my emails to my ex it took a gargantuan effort on my part last night not to just sit at home and not bother going out.

I deleted all emails from the ex.

Ruminating and rehashing prevented my true healing.

Excerpt
I was talking myself out of it all night, that I wouldn't meet any women I found attractive, no one would talk to me, it would be a waste of money to go... .all the usual stupid crap you tell yourself when you're depressed.

For myself, I struggle with the month of August. THIS year, I will have a plan on how to handle the first two weeks of August so that I can rewire my brain from  'anniversary of the trauma' to "a new, and amazing time" in my life.

Excerpt
And it was amazing. I met two women who were incredibly attractive and super nice and intelligent and I go out with both of them next week. Its amazing how much this has changed my mood from last weeks depression to looking forward to next week and at least making two new friends if nothing goes any further. Its the first time I've been really attracted to another woman since my ex... .and there's two of them, both younger, brighter and better looking than my ex (doesn't hurt does it!)

A word of caution.

1. Beauty is only skin deep.

2. Do not let your emotions rule you

3. Never every compare anyone to the ex, ever.

Excerpt
I've felt like death for ages. I really recommend making the effort to get out and about, not to isolate and dwell, you never know which time when you make the effort it will pay off.  |iiii

Agree. Making friends, volunteering, etc definitely busies the mind.

Make sure that you are 'healing' your mind and heart and taking care of your mental health first!

YOU are the most important person on the planet right now.