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Title: Hey there :) This is my intro i guess... Post by: msemjean on February 16, 2015, 10:06:25 AM Hi there
Found this site as a link, was trying to get some info on mothers with BPD. I've been diagnosed with it myself, the more I learn about it the more I am seeing things in my mother that scream BPD. :'( :'( She is so... .unreliable... .overly emotional... .attention seeking... .inappropriate... .child like... .:'( I am 25 years old, I have a younger brother who is 20. I have seen her go through 4 partners now. Each one, except the most recent... .I have called "dad" My Brother had a better deal I guess... .mum left his father when he was 2, and I was 4/5. He used to beat us btw. Yeah... .nice guy (Y) My brother has always been kept in the dark about it... .mum confessed it to him... .not calmly, but threw it in his face in an arguement... .:'( so bad... .I think anyway... . She hooked up with my third father figure when I was 9 and left him 3 years ago. Leaving my brother heartbroken. That was his father figure since he was a little boy... .he didnt really know any different... . I left home when i was 15, cause the very same step father was being really horrible to me... .its like as soon as i became a teenager... .i was nothing... . I left to go live with my real father. Who turned out to be sexually abusive. I got out after 8 months and hooked up with a man the very same age as my father... .just so i could get out... .I didnt trust anyone... .I called docs... .nothing... .my mother must have covered it up... .she HATES being seen as a bad mother and will do anything to keep her name from being trashed... .even blame her children... . I reached out to her, gave her and her new partner my unit to live in together, consoled my brother, who was 17/18 at the time... . And since then... .she has painted my brother and I as bad, abusive, ungreatful children whenever we get upset, or dont want to spend time with her and her new partner. She plays us all off against each other. I had an argument with her new bf the other night, because she was telling me he was objectifying her, and trying to get her to go to asia with him so they can have threesomes with younger women... . I came at my throat! Tried to strangle me! I just dont know what to do anymore... . Title: Re: Hey there :) This is my intro i guess... Post by: P.F.Change on February 16, 2015, 11:27:08 AM Hi, msemjean! I'm glad you found us and decided to share a little bit about your situation. My mother has BPD also. It sounds like you are really longing for some stable, loving, parental figures and it is so hard when they are not there. It can also feel really isolating when no one seems to believe you or understand what you're going through. We all "get it" here. And we also have a lot of tools that can help you in the recovery process.
Over in the right-hand margin --> you can see the outline of the Survivor's Guide, which can help us see that there are stages to our recovery. You might also want to check out the Lessons (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=108307.0) for this board. I am concerned for your safety after hearing what happened with your mother's boyfriend. Did you consider calling the police? What do you need to do to feel safe? Do you have a therapist you can talk to about how to look after yourself? Wishing you peace, PF Title: Re: Hey there :) This is my intro i guess... Post by: Harri on February 16, 2015, 12:18:56 PM Hi msemjean and welcome. I am glad you found this place as there are many here who, like PF Change said, get it. Some of the details may be a bit different, but the emotions and thoughts are things most all of us can relate to.
Is there any way you can keep some distance between you and your mother right now as you try to figure out what you need to do to keep yourself safe? Please keep posting here. We can listen and support you as you work things out. |