BPDFamily.com

I've seen many references to seeing who is looking at your facebook page? How do you do this, are there instructions somewhere

There is another thread on this where I explain source code. Mine former fiancee's best friend seems to check mine a great deal. 2 months out.

The techies know how, and a bigger question is why do you want to know?  If I knew my ex had been cyberstalking me, it would give me validation that she cared or was a least interested in what I was up to, and that would feed the addiction for a minute, keep that sliver of hope alive, all of which would get in the way of me letting it go and focusing on my future.  Any of that ring true for you?

I am afraid that I am the one that propagated that technique and I have come to confirm that does not work at all. I'm really sorry for the confusion though I was convinced that it actually worked.

I put together a ruse to catch mine and it worked like a charm.

I was just curious. I see this on here from time to time and thought really, people can actually track who looks at them... .I though if anyone would know it would be the experts here.

I have facebook but don't go on often at all. My ex doesn't even have facebook anymore to my knowledge, he had a page about 6 years ago for like 5 minutes but facebook is beneath him.

My exbf deleted his FB account a couple of years ago, too. In part because he realized that having a social media presence would make him too easy to keep tabs on. He likes to fly under the radar.

I have a FB account, but I haven't used it in over a year, and even before that I didn't use it a lot. Honestly, FB just sort of depresses me. I cut down my friends list but still saw so much drama being played out. I feel like a Luddite, but social media just isn't my thing.

I'm personally glad there was no social media involved. It made it far easier for me to begin to detach and heal after the breakup. I hope you find the same, Swiggle. :)

Facebook closes up all loop holes that make cheating or doing weird stuff (without getting caught) more difficult.  For instance, it used to be that if you deleted a message stream then it was archived until you did a final delete... .well that probably got a lot of people caught doing bad things... .so was "fixed".  Facebook and Facebook messenger are now the pathway to infidelity, and Zuckerberg laughs to the bank.  About a 1/3 of divorce proceeding mention Facebook.

A little off topic, but Facebook is how I confirmed my suspicions.  It can be really easy to cross-reference facts if you know the people they are close to.  Mine lied about some pretty large things, which led to me finding out she was cheating and traveling with another man.  She (uBPDexGF) also did her best to keep her men separate through social media. IE:  Me on Facebook, another on Instagram, and yet another Twitter. 

Mine has been inactive on her account since leaving me for the new source. She sent a long missive about how she was in a new place, etc etc. but nothing about us. Still hasn't taken down our engagement photos from the page. Just weird. I half suspect if she comes on again, she'll just make a whole new profile, leave this account dormant. I'm still angry at her 2 months out. But it's the anger where you want to slap them as hard as you can, then kiss them as hard as you can.

Wow! That IS odd that she has your engagement pics up after 2 months AND that she has a new BF after 2 months. You would think that the BF would have  a serious problem with that. Mine left pictures of me up as well until she finally blocked me. I wonder what drives that... .

the new bf is a damaged person too, cheated with her by texting after he met us both at a mutual friend of theirs' wedding. Mother ___er knew she was engaged and went straight after her anyway, and she fell for his high school lines "you are the only woman for me" "I want to move to you so I can be there to fight for you." Such a downgrade piece of garbage too.

I agree that social media makes it easier for cheating and dishonest behavior to happen since it can connect people instantly and gives everyone a view into the lives of others. I also agree that a lot of social media is riddled with dysfunction and is the outlet for many unhealthy people. While I believe all of these things and that FB may have been an avenue for infidelity but FB doesn't cause divorce, unhealthy marriages, unhealthy people and unhealthy relationships are the pathway to infidelity... .sometimes ending a marriage with divorce.

Facebook messenger is a way to text without it showing up on your phone bill.

You would have to tell me the definition of "cause" you are using.  I class cause as a set of necessary and sufficient conditions to bring something about.  I think that facebook, according to this definition, causes infidelity.  What a lot of people are getting at is that facebook can't make an angel act like a devil, but it can make it easier for a fence sitter to fall off.  When it is a tipping point, it is a cause according to me.

People who cheat cheat. People who lie lie. They will find a way FB or not. People who dot cheat or lie just don't.  It a matter of having a core value of honesty ... .Or not.

I hate Facebook it so came in between my girlfriend and I. She was obsessively checking it all the time. Got a text at 130 am on Facebook. I called her once and she didn't pick  up but she had Facebook on and then she closed it. I wasn't keeping tabs on her but it made me paranoid that she was up to something. I hate it. I would gladly delete my account for someone I love.

True that. Cheating was around long before FB... .

It's absurd that anyone would believe that Facebook doesn't play into the infidelity card.

It causes infidelity. 

And

It makes it easier to cheat.

Agreed.  Lowering risk and increasing opportunity had an influence on all human behaviors.

I think folks might be thinking of themselves or defining cause as "solely responsible for".