BPDFamily.com

I am still recovering after the exBPDwife moved out in July of last year. Found this wite and hope it can help me work through the debris field left by the ex.

Hello Wingnut, and  *welcome*

We can certainly support you here. Though the divorce was finalized, are there any lingering legal or logistical issues where you remain in contact? Do you have kids? Hope to more and how we can help.

Turkish

I have adult children from my first marriage. Lost my first wife to cancer when the children were young so the exBPDwife had plenty of chance to terrorize the children with her outrageous behavior.

I actually have a restraining order on the exBPDwife so there is to be no contact. She already moved in with my replacement the week after the divorce was final. Seems she was having an affair with him while we were still married and living together.

I am just now beginning to understand what the heck happened and hope to learn more here so I can get healthy.

Wingnut,

It's a healthy approach.  All of us go through different phases with recovery from these relationships.  For myself, I am somewhere between self-inquiry and Processing (right hand side) and although I would like to have complete freedom I know their is a bit more to be done.  I found it useful going through these different tools on the right and sort of reading them every so often when sorting through my own 'issues' and trying to understand what was happening with me. 

I often felt a bit like (http://www.cur.cursors-4u.net/smilies/images1/smi20.gif)

Figuring out that it wasn't personal was something that helped me immensely.  Where do you see yourself from the list on the right hand side, always good to have a measure or something to guide us on where we are at.


AJJ. 

I would say that I am in the "Processing" stage.