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Title: I don't know what Im supposed to do Post by: calafjc on February 19, 2015, 03:17:14 AM I've recently discovered that my wife of over 10 years has BPD, i've read around about BPD, I want to help her without making it worse for her, because thats all i seem to do. I understand that treatment is difficult, she has started to take measures to start coping, but i need to know what I'm supposed to do, I have no idea
Title: Re: I don't know what Im supposed to do Post by: waverider on February 19, 2015, 04:24:47 AM I've recently discovered that my wife of over 10 years has BPD, i've read around about BPD, I want to help her without making it worse for her, because thats all i seem to do. I understand that treatment is difficult, she has started to take measures to start coping, but i need to know what I'm supposed to do, I have no idea *welcome* Welcome calafjc It is a bit of a shock once you discover this Disorder and start to learn about it. Check this link out as a starter: Before you can make anything better, you must stop making it worse (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206) You can't fix your wife, but you can do a lot to make your life better and so provide a better platform from which she may build from. Keep reading and posting any specific concerns you may have Waverider Title: Re: I don't know what Im supposed to do Post by: Cole on February 19, 2015, 06:27:54 AM I've recently discovered that my wife of over 10 years has BPD, i've read around about BPD, I want to help her without making it worse for her, because thats all i seem to do. I understand that treatment is difficult, she has started to take measures to start coping, but i need to know what I'm supposed to do, I have no idea You are in the right place and already have a head start by understanding what waverider said about not making it worse. Read the lessons on the right, they are an eye opener. I think you will find you are not alone in your situation. Title: Re: I don't know what Im supposed to do Post by: EaglesJuju on February 19, 2015, 07:19:39 AM Hi Calafjc,
Welcome. I understand how frustrating and difficult it is to cope with BPD behaviors. As Waverider and Cole suggested, the lessons are truly your first step to improving your relationship. Treatment for a person with BPD (pwBPD) can be really difficult. Retraining maladaptive coping mechanisms/behaviors that have been hardwired in a pwBPD's brain can take quite awhile. It is great that your pwBPD has started measures on coping. I found that being supportive and validating my bf while he is currently working on his behaviors has been extremely helpful. Here is some information on validation that has really helped me. Validation and BPD (https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/validation_slides.pdf) Is your pwBPD currently being treated? |