BPDFamily.com

Hey, so the dude that I replaced has been threatening suicide attempts and saying he needs to see her. She has shown me the texts, they are along the lines of "I have nothing left to live for please can I just see you, I just want to end it all"

My girlfriend is BPD however she does have compassion and empathy, she is saying it's not a good idea to see him especially as he was physically violent towards her at the end (this was witnessed, and to be somewhat fair to the guy she WAS gaslighting him pretty bad which i think pushed him over the edge) but she doesn't want him to do anything like that. It's causing her quite a lot of distress.

I don't know this guys deal, he's a former drug addict and clearly has some psychological issues of his own, which has been apparent for a long time. He was a friend of hers before we got together and during our initial courtship he used to play on her compassionate side by telling her he was sick, needed help, needed to go to hospital etc. Which always seemed to happen when he knew she was spending time with me. This kind of thing always makes her "want to be a good person" and help. One night we were having dinner quite happily then he called and she had to leave and an hour later she's snapchatting me from the hospital waiting room. The doctors didn't find anything wrong btw, big shocker eh.

I'm not sure what to do in this situation, this guy really needs to take a hike, when she's with me she's happy and her life gets better but when she's around him things go wrong all the time. Their relationship was more toxic than anything you can imagine, and many people said one of them was going to end up dead.

any advice on hw to handle this?

This seems like a potentially dangerous situation for all parties involved. I would hope that there's someone else who could be his rescuer this time--a friend, family member. I'm glad your girlfriend does not immediately jump into that role--it seems like she's wiser after having been there, done that in the past.

I would hesitate to get the authorities to do a welfare check on him since he is a former addict, but I certainly wouldn't get involved if I were you and I'd hope your girlfriend doesn't either.

Have the police do a welfare check.

Have you talked to your gf about how it is probably not a good idea to become involved?

Anyone who is talking about suicide should be taken seriously. Involve the professionals who are properly trained to respond like emergency services. They are best placed to assess the situation and decide on the best course of action and link him to the right services. It's not a healthy dynamic for anyone for him to be contacting her and her to be the first responder to a potentially traumatising situation.