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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Alberto on February 23, 2015, 10:53:08 AM



Title: Glad to report that I'm in love with a non
Post by: Alberto on February 23, 2015, 10:53:08 AM
I posted not too long ago about my inability to feel something strong for other girls, I really felt emotionally numb and that sensation was perhaps worse than the break up.

I tried dating a girl but I wasn't feeling it so I had to stop calling her, but the last few days, almost suddenly and after 4 months of strict no contact I started to feel more and more detached. The break up confusion still occupies some of my thoughts, but it's far less present than before.

Then I met this amazing girl, radiant, happy and intelligent, completly different to the non stop victimism and negativity I was used to. I'm feeling healthy apreciation and admiration for her character and I can't wait to see her smile.

I'm really happy to report that it can be done, it's a long process, but the right person exists and it's the final piece of the puzzle to complete detachment.







Title: Re: Glad to report that I'm in love with a non
Post by: Alex86 on February 23, 2015, 11:00:58 AM
Thanks for sharing... .That cheered me up...

I am completely stuck for about 8 months now after break up. Today my ex was again in my thoughts.

I suppose I have to find someone else in order to forget her.


Title: Re: Glad to report that I'm in love with a non
Post by: nowwhatz on February 23, 2015, 11:08:58 AM
I am really happy to hear this success story and very happy for you!


Title: Re: Glad to report that I'm in love with a non
Post by: Confusedmae on February 23, 2015, 01:25:45 PM
I'm really happy for you, Alberto, and I'm hoping I'm misreading your timeline. You mention that you've been feeling more detached the last few daysand then you met an amazing girl... .and you're reporting you're already in love? This reads as if you're talking about only having known her 36-48 hours. If this is true, please be careful. I'd hate to read, down the road, that maybe this girl isn't really amazing and healthy afterall. Either way, remember to take care of yourself.


Title: Re: Glad to report that I'm in love with a non
Post by: Alberto on February 24, 2015, 10:16:17 AM
I'm really happy for you, Alberto, and I'm hoping I'm misreading your timeline. You mention that you've been feeling more detached the last few daysand then you met an amazing girl... .and you're reporting you're already in love? This reads as if you're talking about only having known her 36-48 hours. If this is true, please be careful. I'd hate to read, down the road, that maybe this girl isn't really amazing and healthy afterall. Either way, remember to take care of yourself.

I've know her for three weeks, but we spent the whole weekend together. I have to say I'm a quite paranoid with women now, but after being with a waif for a year, this looks extremely different. Hope it works out because she really brightens my day,

Thank you all for the kind words!


Title: Re: Glad to report that I'm in love with a non
Post by: goateeki on February 25, 2015, 10:12:17 AM
... .it's a long process, but the right person exists and it's the final piece of the puzzle to complete detachment.

So true.  This is where I am now.  Just had a good conversation with my T this morning about the natural desire for trust and intimacy -- something I think we all want -- and the countercurrent of remaining objective about one's new love interest, and keeping in mind always that it is only time that can help us to see who the new love interest really is. 

Divorced dBPDxw in October and have been with girlfriend since November.  I think I might have lucked out with her... .I am skeptical and observant and curious, but she is so wonderfully NORMAL.  It's a great feeling.  I almost don't know what to do with it.  On some level, it's shocking to find out just how capable and normal some women are.