BPDFamily.com

Hi,

I keep ignoring the behavior of my BPD sister but just found out recently that she has friended my EX mother-in-law.   She never liked my EX MIL and never had friendship.    I have been divorced for 7 years.   My EX husband's new wife is irate as my EX MIL told her she received a friend request from my BPD sister and both new wife and X husband told her "don't accept the request"... .she is doing this to stir the pot.     So not only does she accept the request but EX MIL HIDES from my X husband's new wife by doing some hiding/blocking thing so she doesn't know she accepted request.     I can't believe how SICK my sister is that still she is looking for ways to poke me.    The issue I have with this is that my KIDS are on EX MIL's page and this is a back door to my sister bad mouthing or discussing me on my EX MIL's page.     So now my EX husband's new wife and I are teaming up (thankfully) to fix this.   New wife is like a deja vu for me.    My EX in-laws are really screwed up and she gets it now.     I can't believe how many problems the combination of Facebook and BPD people can cause.      I wish facebook was never invented and years ago if you put in the newspaper something negative about another person they got sued for defamation of character.   On facebook these crazy BPD people can post whatever they want and leave it there.  There will be no reconciliation with BPD sister.  NONE!

How does this fit in with the work you are doing, funfunctional? What parts of this situation are you able to change and control? For instance, would you and your children be able to change the settings on their accounts so that people you don't feel safe having them interact with would be blocked?

Sometimes it also helps to look at the other side: What things are not possible for you to control? Would you be interested in trying to let go of some of the resentments about those (e.g., who your mil or sister choose to be friends with)? We'll be happy to help you look for solutions. 

Wishing you peace,

PF

Hi PF,

My x husband's and his new wife both spoke to my x mil and my BPD sister has been removed as a friend from her friend list.

They explained the situation.

This is not about resentment.   This is about feeling "scared" that my sister is abnormally obsessing over me and trying to hurt me ANYWAY she can.     My sister at this point should have stopped this Facebook nonsense.    She is trying to revenge me for her self created ideas that I have smeared her last summer to the rest of family.  This was all created in her head.    As someone said before "her feelings becoming facts".

Years ago if someone published bad stuff about a person in a newspaper they could be sued for defamation of character.   Although I have let go of the postings that she has done on her own page bad mouthing me and slamming me when she can.    I don't care if she does that as long as my kids can't read it.

I can't have her posting bad stuff about me on my EX MIL's page (and she will) so that my two kids can read it.     Fortunately my X husband and his new wife agree with me and have made sure the problem was fixed.

Thanks for the help PF but I think this is a done deal now.   My question is this:   When someone is this mentally ill and has a violent potential and has a target on your back that leads to a little "nervousness".   I just pray she doesn't step it up once she realize Facebook isn't working anymore.

How terrible!

I also wish I had never gotten on the facebook bandwagon and facebook doesn't help at maintaining boundaries.

I guess the only thing you can do is to explain the situation to your kids (if they are on facebook, I guess they are old enough to understand the situation.) I didn't quite understand if your Ex-husband's new wife unfriended her or not. If she finds her annoying, why don't they just block her? It might have to come to that. You should consider blocking her too. I can understand you being scared.

Hi Troll,

Yes.  She blocked her too.

Well at this point the drama is over for now.   I am walking away and hope that BPD sister finds her own way of fixing herself and leaving me alone in the process.

Thanks!