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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: ripps on February 27, 2015, 07:11:37 PM



Title: Helpful Insight
Post by: ripps on February 27, 2015, 07:11:37 PM
This just really helped me:

In her book, "Imbroglio", Janice Cauwels quotes Dr. Kernberg: "To the borderline, oneself and others are defined by only the most recent feelings and behavior. Borderlines read each action by other people because they have no sense of consistency and thus cannot predict behavior."

For 1.5 years, and obviously especially toward the end, I said to her "I feel like I'm always on trial, like we're in the first month of dating". This now makes sense to me. Man she was sick, with such a polished facade. I think she devalued me simply because I started really seeing her and she knew it. She has lots of friends (which most pwBPD don't, I think?), because she just keeps the facade so well. She did it with me for close to a year, though now I remember small cracks / signs I missed. Maybe because she knows I know she won't charm back, although that may be more NPD ... .Ie to be found out and run, not sure?