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Title: There is a light at the end of the tunnel Post by: fred6 on February 27, 2015, 10:58:16 PM I don't post much like I used to, but I see a lot of new people here. If you want to know my story go to my profile and start from my 1st post and read my first 2 months here. Anyhow, it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Maybe my childhood was worse, but kids recover, adapt, and find codependent relationships. If your here on the leaving board, you're here for a reason!
After 2 months of PURE HELL ON EARTH. I finally moved out. I mentally and physically couldn't take it anymore. I lost about 22 lbs in 2 months. I was at my breaking point. So I got my crappy little apartment and sat here stewing in my own hell. That was September 20th. Haven't seen or talked to her since. I've initiated some texts a while back and we've exchanged some cordial and nasty texts. However, Since Christmas we haven't communicated at all. Like I said, if you're here on the leaving board, you're here for a reason. If you want to move forward, go full NC ASAP. But the quicker the better. At first you'll mess up. You'll get drunk and text the ex. I DID for a while. After 90 days apart regardless of how much contact. Shut that $hit down. It gets better guys, I promise. I'm not there yet, but I am so much better than I was. Give it time and the addiction will die down. Just get through the withdrawals. Ask any questions you want from me. I'll try to answer when I can. Good luck guys, we're all in this together! *) Title: Re: There is a light at the end of the tunnel Post by: GrowThroughIt on February 28, 2015, 01:30:49 AM I don't post much like I used to, but I see a lot of new people here. If you want to know my story go to my profile and start from my 1st post and read my first 2 months here. Anyhow, it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Maybe my childhood was worse, but kids recover, adapt, and find codependent relationships. If your here on the leaving board, you're here for a reason! After 2 months of PURE HELL ON EARTH. I finally moved out. I mentally and physically couldn't take it anymore. I lost about 22 lbs in 2 months. I was at my breaking point. So I got my crappy little apartment and sat here stewing in my own hell. That was September 20th. Haven't seen or talked to her since. I've initiated some texts a while back and we've exchanged some cordial and nasty texts. However, Since Christmas we haven't communicated at all. Like I said, if you're here on the leaving board, you're here for a reason. If you want to move forward, go full NC ASAP. But the quicker the better. At first you'll mess up. You'll get drunk and text the ex. I DID for a while. After 90 days apart regardless of how much contact. Shut that $hit down. It gets better guys, I promise. I'm not there yet, but I am so much better than I was. Give it time and the addiction will die down. Just get through the withdrawals. Ask any questions you want from me. I'll try to answer when I can. Good luck guys, we're all in this together! *) Hey man, It's GREAT to hear that you are doing much better! And thanks for those words of encouragement! I'm loving the positivity! |iiii Title: Re: There is a light at the end of the tunnel Post by: nickoftime on February 28, 2015, 08:58:27 AM It is a withdrawal from an addiction. And like other addictions it's not just an emotional withdrawal but a physical one within the brain. The first 30 days NC is so hard and sometimes so slow but it is how you will start to get past this. 90 days I found the difference to be like night and day. Maybe you won't be completely over it and healed but you'll probably find yourself in a much better head space. 90 days sounds daunting and a lifetime... .but it's only three months. Not long in the grand scheme of things. It's gonna get better soon enough!
Title: Re: There is a light at the end of the tunnel Post by: downwhim on February 28, 2015, 09:15:03 AM It has been 4 months for me. Each day I miss him, each day I brush the thought away and get busy with my day. Weekends and eves are the hardest but I try and stay busy with friends, watch a movie, work out, etc. Life does not seem whole yet just different and more empty without him. However,
I do not have that sense of anxiousness. I have more time to concentrate on my needs not his. I am not on his schedule. I don't have a pit in my stomach awaiting the next rage. I am not told one thing just to see him do another. I don't have to put up with his crazy ex wife and her needs. His teenage son doesn't give me that look. I am not bored. I am not constantly worried about missing his call. I don't have to eat dinner right at 5:30. Yes, I miss being held, loved, having someone to call and care about me. I miss the sex and the dates and the friendship. But, in the long run my physical and emotional heath is more important. It is all hard. Stay N/C. It is truly the only way to heal. |