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Saw her at a stop light today. First real look I've had in 6 months. I doubt she saw me as I was I car length off to the side. Funny, made my heart race and jump into my throat. Looking at her made my emotions trip. I felt overwhelmed by sadness, longing and, yes, love. I loved this woman with all I had. I wish I didn't feel this way. I know I mean nothing to her, probably never did. But it was real to me. She's moved on and I was merely a pit stop until someone better came along. I wish I could put this behind me.

Hi Deeno02,

I'm sorry your going through this. 6 months of not seeing someone that was a significant part of your is a long time. One way of looking at it you do mean something to a pwBPD if they split you black.

That must have been really hard for you Deeno02.  

What are the largest stumbling blocks that you have with putting this behind you?

Biggest stumbling block is that she coaches my sons volleyball team. Season starts end of month and I will have exposure to her. Scares me.

I would like to hope so Mutt. But I doubt it. I don't think I meant anything other than a lifesaver. That's all. Not that she's swimming on her own, time for a new flotation device.

Deeno,

Everything comes gradually and at it's appointed hour.

Now may not be the time for the answers you are seeking. She may show in the way that she can that she cared. It may not be what you expect. She has social impairments. I nearly missed the queues because of my anger, it was a blip on the radar, easy to miss and she did show some empathy and that she cared.

Everyone's partner on the boards are different people and have different traits. I settled with what she could give, at the least it's something and better than nothing. The anger stages needed to subside for me to see the answers. Anger clouds the mind.

It stings, I can relate. You show your heart on the boards. Take the love you displayed to her and turn that back on yourself. Take good care of you.