BPDFamily.com

 

I have read through most of these posts from 2011 up till now.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=135876.0

On this subject Dont let them control you lives.  As a new comer,  It is very thought provoking. With many good quotes and discussions, that paint a very realist picture of life with a BPD.

It seems almost that life with a PWBPD or its traits is a long hard road. With no easy solution.  However it is beneficial, because you learn so much about yourself along the way.  Good and Bad life is a journey and you cannot go through life wishing you never did this right or said that things you said at the time.  It is the travelling and the learning that is important in the long term.  Eventually you can look back and say yes I did make a cock up of things but I know that I will always be that much stronger and eventually I will discover what my strengths and weaknesses are and how to counter act those weaknesses and turn them into strengths. |iiii

Yes It now been nearly two weeks since I seen my uBPDbf. Not really sure why for we not had a argument or anything.  This is something he does.  Disappear for a length of time texting me to say that he will phone tonight but never does.    

It pattern is upsetting to say the least. However it gives me time to reflect and get things into perspectives.  I beginning not to worry as much as I did before.  Secondly I am getting to do some things that I had left for a long time and sorting out my life as best I can.   :light: I trying not to phone him to ask him why is he not phoning me.  But just leave the running for him to do if that what he wants to do. 

I am learning that I am not responsible for his actions.  I only responsible for my own actions and I have to start to take care of me.  This means not worrying about if or when I will see him.  It not that my feelings for him has changed its the way I am beginning to respond to his absence. Also keeping my mind on things to do with me.

I worry still that he may or may not contact me again.  But I really don't know how to turn my feeling off in that aspect but it is the constant hoping and praying he will.  I trying to discover ways of keeping my life busy and focused. folie

  Hello again. I have been reading a lot of posts over the last few weeks.  Also advice on why pwBPD seem to have a pattern of leaving then coming back. Pushing those closest to them away and painting them black.  To be honest I found reading. sometimes hard going. It has now been a whole month since I spoken or seen my SO.  Some days has been frustrating and painful. :'( Other days it's been happy.  I really kept myself busy. Just going from day to day.  To be totally frank I still confused at this  despite my knowledge  but not at all surprised.  I made contact mainly by text in which he replied but the message's have become shorter and shorter. Why is this?   No really sure what to do as I discussed with my friend that this has been a pattern of behaviour. Nearly the same time each year.