BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone. I haven't been here in awhile but I was just thinking about you all and I wanted to stop by. Funny how even just being here makes all of those old emotions come back up.

I am just over six months out and here to tell you that the darkness does lift. It takes awhile, different amounts for different people but it DOES get better. I am proof.

I was with my uBPDexbf for two and half years. We lived together with our respective kids and it was the most turmoil, anguish and chaos I have ever known. I never even knew such a thing existed until I lived it. I was madly in love, he was my "soulmate" and I thought I would be with him forever. When the craziness started, I couldn't figure out what was going on and I blamed everything from his childhood, his previous marriage, myself and ghosts.

One day, I had apparently had enough because I was the one who went crazy. I lost my mind and threw him out. It was horrible and hard and I spent hours and hours here but I just kept plugging along, counting the days and marking them off on the calendar.

I started dating again at around the three month mark. I wasn't ready and I would have PTSD episodes where I would just start crying and be unable to stop. It was a bit of a nightmare. I am still dating and though I still have some episodes, they get fewer and further apart and they aren't nearly as severe and I'm able to overcome them quickly. I didn't really know how far I had actually come until last week when there was contact and even a hug. I thought it could be that closure we all want, but of course, he saw it as a window to climb back in. But when he texted me to see if we could get together, I said no. And I meant it. And I have no doubts whatsoever that it is the absolute right choice. I am not even sad about it.

My life is better, full of light and hope and joy. Wherever you are right now, please, please, please believe me when I say it will get better. I know you hear it in real life, from people who don't really get it. But I get it. I was where you are and I PROMISE, you're going to be okay.

Love to all of you.

 Thank you so much for the lovely update, crookedeuphoria! I'm so glad for you. :)


I had the same types of episodes. It feels great as they get less frequent and severe.



|iiii Your sense of peace, conviction, and empowerment is beautiful to see. Congratulations on doing what you know is best for you.