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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Bak86 on March 04, 2015, 03:59:01 PM



Title: Possible stalking
Post by: Bak86 on March 04, 2015, 03:59:01 PM
Hi everyone! Haven't looked on this forum for months. I'm feeling great at this moment. Although there is one little concern.

First of, you can read my story here https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=230844.msg12474912#msg12474912

Since we work together i can't avoid seeing her. She works on another floor now, so i barely see her. Haven't had "real" contact with her in about 3 months now.

My office has a parking garage for bikes and since i'm from the netherlands, where we love bikes, it's really ___ing big. it's two stories and holds like 1500 bikes or something crazy like that. Anyway, i always park in one spot that i like, and since two weeks my ex starts to park her bike next to mine. At first i thought it was a coincidence, but now i'm not so sure, because yesterday i parked it in another place and presto, her bike was there again!

And today i was sitting in a workplace that had the view on the elevators which are like 25m away. Today at the end of the day, when almost everybody left, i noticed her standing in the hallway with the elevators. i was sitting behind my desk and i looked up and saw her standing there looking at me. I looked away since i was busy with my work, but a couple of minutes later she was still standing there looking at me! It kind of freaked me out. Reminded me of resident evil or silent hill.

Am i overreacting or is she trying to get a reaction out of me or possibly trying to get me back? And i can say that i'm much better without her and would never want her back!


Title: Re: Possible stalking
Post by: tjay933 on March 04, 2015, 04:11:08 PM
Hi

I understand it is quite common for pwBPD to "return" to you once their current "victim/toy" has moved on. This may be her way of trying to get back to you until her "next victim" comes along. They seem to be lost without someone to paint black. Others have had to get restraining orders against their BPDs as they do stalk them. don't know if that is what she is doing. They do like to get a reaction from you-just don't fall for it-remember what she did in the past and will do again if you let her. be sure that as soon as she finds a new victim/toy, you will be put aside until that one breaks and she wants you back again.

stay safe


Title: Re: Possible stalking
Post by: raisins3142 on March 04, 2015, 04:56:58 PM
It's a bit weird and unnerving, but I wouldn't elevate it to stalking.  People throw that word around a lot.  For instance, looking at someone's facebook or googling them is now called "stalking" when you only look at publicly available info that is often put out there by them to be looked at!  It is just a scary word, and should be used sparingly and not for effect.