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Maybe just some unmeaningful jabbering but I feel like I need to communicate this.

I always loved being physically active. I always loved sports very much. It taught me well how I could overcome obstacles and push boundaries of myself who weren’t really there. You also get to know your physical boundaries, you can improve yourself, work on yourself. This whole transformation is what I really like about it. I always took it also as a metaphor for life. Not only for the body but for your mind. You become what you practice. So you have to train and practice to achieve things, to improve and transform yourself.

That’s why is still love excercising so much. Because it proofs to me that I should keep on doing things if I want to get better.

It’s stupid how we often feel like we can’t improve ourselves or get better anymore when being physically active shows that we indeed can. So that’s the reason I love sports.

But there’s something I only realized lately: recently I started kickboxing. My coach said to me: „You do have lots of talent for kickboxing. You get the techniques, you got the strenght and power, you got the endurance. The only thing you need to work on is releasing your breath. Don’t hold your breath. Let it out with every jab or punch, with every kick.“ So yeah, bummer. Doesn’t sound very helpful in the first place. But he was right. I realized that I not only literally but also metaphorically always hold my breath and never let it out. He said that the power lays very much in releasing the breath and letting it all out.

He didn’t realize that he really helped me with that information. But it’s very true. I always keep everything inside of me, I NEVER let it out. I hold everything, even my breath (I of course breath in and out, but you know what I mean). But it’s the force of live, I need to release it. I never did.

You can be able to speak in the kindest of words, be an expert in rhetorics, to forgive and forget, you can be as resilient as you want, you can be the most compassionate (how I see it is that here a many compassionate people) but you also need to release what’s inside of you.

Sometimes you have to treat yourself as you treat others. Maybe this should be a rule for all of us here. If you say you love people, if you are compassionate, if you love the human race then love yourself because you are part of it. Even if it is difficult.

I need to tell me that more often. I know this information is nothing new but I just needed to tell this story. Sometimes you miss the forest for the trees. Just imagine you would treat someone else the way you are treating yourself right now in taking everything people do to you. Just imagine you would force someone to live with an abuser, to make them always go back or reach out to the abuser. To force them to drink lots of alcohol, to eat lots of food or whatever addicitons you may have developed thorugh anxiety. Would you do that to someone else? No, right? So don’t do it to yourself. You matter as well. Even if you can’t see it. Then just try to see it that way: you are part oft he human race and if you’re humane you don’t treat humanity badly.

For me it helps. Even if I often feel like I don’t deserve being treated humane I try to see myself as another person and I know I would never treat someone else the way I treat myself.

Bravo misty_red!  |iiii

So very true, we are always our own worst enemy aren't we? Through this recovery, if we can start being more loving to ourselves and treat ourselves with compassion, we will surely attract others that will want to do the same! Seeing myself more objectively and showing myself compassion has been the biggest blessing of all the hell I've been through this last year!