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Title: Hi, not really sure what i do here. Post by: I-am-titanium on March 07, 2015, 08:03:34 AM Hi. I'm in my 30s my partner is my 40s. We've got a son and recently things just gone out of control and I feel so ___ing lonely I just don't know what to do.
My partner been diagnosed with BPD a while ago, we've been together over 8 years. Had loads of ups and downs but this week I just felt like I've had it with all this chaos and well... .I don't really know, since I'm really alone without any family close by. Everything kinda went to hell when my partner spent a night a her ex husbands daughter place and did some drugs something that has never happened before (at least to my knowledge coz my trust in her just been shattered.). I'm just not sure what to do with it all and oh I don't know. I'm sorry I'm not making much sense but the world isn't spinning in right direction. Thanks for reading. Title: Re: Hi, not really sure what i do here. Post by: Turkish on March 07, 2015, 08:23:50 AM Hello I-am-titanium, and *welcome*
I'm sorry that your partner ran off like that. Did she take your son with her, or were you both left alone? We can certainly support you in your struggle, titanuim. BPD behaviors can be hurtful and confusing, but we have a lot of material here from which you can learn more about the disorder, and communication tools which can help to reduce conflict. It's perfectly reasonable that your trust has been shattered if this is the first time that she's run in this manner, and scary that she.self-medicated with drugs. Do you and your son feel safe around her? Turkish Title: Re: Hi, not really sure what i do here. Post by: I-am-titanium on March 07, 2015, 08:49:36 AM Hello I-am-titanium, and *welcome* I'm sorry that your partner ran off like that. Did she take your son with her, or were you both left alone? We can certainly support you in your struggle, titanuim. BPD behaviors can be hurtful and confusing, but we have a lot of material here from which you can learn more about the disorder, and communication tools which can help to reduce conflict. It's perfectly reasonable that your trust has been shattered if this is the first time that she's run in this manner, and scary that she.self-medicated with drugs. Do you and your son feel safe around her? Turkish hey thanks for your reply. It's not the first time she did go there but first time she did drugs. The very first time it happened she did take our son there but I was at work and unaware until after it happened. I mean I know I'm not easy to live with and life's not easy and I ___ed up many times but thru the years I tried to understand and excuse that "quirky" behaviour. But the recent bit just got too much. plus she had also told me few days ago she stopped taking her prescribed meds coz she's gonna manage without them. I really don't want to get professional people involved but on the other hand not sure I can deal with another admission to hospital. Twice in 7 years is enough. I am just scared and shocked really. Title: Re: Hi, not really sure what i do here. Post by: Turkish on March 07, 2015, 09:18:06 AM With two admissions already, it's understandable to not want to go through it again. If she's not following a treatment plan then that's her choice, but it may not get better.
Have you had a chance to look at the lessons at the top and to the right of the board? We have tips and communication tools there which can help you validate her fears (without saying it, of course, because a core feeling for a pwBPD (person with BPD) is shame). Title: Re: Hi, not really sure what i do here. Post by: I-am-titanium on March 07, 2015, 11:35:42 AM With two admissions already, it's understandable to not want to go through it again. If she's not following a treatment plan then that's her choice, but it may not get better. Have you had a chance to look at the lessons at the top and to the right of the board? We have tips and communication tools there which can help you validate her fears (without saying it, of course, because a core feeling for a pwBPD (person with BPD) is shame). no I haven't yet but I will go thru it soon. I know it's not gonna get better but well, can't force her to take her meds if she doesn't want, neither can I force her to arrange a therapy for herself. Anyway thanks . |