|
Title: Overreacting to small negative feedback Post by: YepSheWould on March 07, 2015, 11:52:18 PM My mom is uBPD and I have been low contact with her for over a year now. Yesterday, I started reading BPD materials and thinking about my mom a lot. I was just reading the same things I've read before over and over again. I suppose it's just confirmation of feelings and thoughts about my relationship with her.
However, today my partner, with whom I have great communication normally, gave me just a little feedback regarding wanting a bit more help around the house and I completely overreacted. I felt so much shame. I was immediately convinced that I was lazy and worthless. I'm sort of able to shake those feelings, but now I feel caught in a loop of feeling shame or guilt about my shame. How do I get out of this? It's not about helping around the house, I'm happy to do that, so why am I so stuck? Title: Re: Overreacting to small negative feedback Post by: clljhns on March 08, 2015, 06:55:27 AM YSW,
Excerpt but now I feel caught in a loop of feeling shame or guilt about my shame. I am so sorry that you are caught in this terrible loop of shame and guilt. I know you said you have read a lot of the articles here, but did you read about FOG? I am including the link here: https://bpdfamily.com/portfolio-parent Are you seeing a professional to help with these negative thoughts? I used Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to help change my negative thoughts to positive ones. How would it feel to see a professional to help with this? Wishing you all the best. Title: Re: Overreacting to small negative feedback Post by: HappyChappy on March 09, 2015, 04:21:07 AM Sorry to hear about you situation. By reading about it, you are bringing your thoughts back out (of Pandora’s box). This may make you more sensitive, hypersensitive even, to triggers. So maybe being asked to help around the house, is a trigger.
However it is advisable to have a Therapist/counsellor to help when bringing these thoughts back out. They can ensure you deal with them more effectively and mend sooner. CBT can help, but I found I needed the moral support of a Therapist for it to work properly. You should have no shame in being triggered. Don't let shame stop you from getting the help you clearly deserve. :) Title: Re: Overreacting to small negative feedback Post by: NGU on March 10, 2015, 01:51:42 PM YSW:
It almost sounds like this might be an isolated incident for you. Have you found yourself with these feelings before? CBT can help, but I found I needed the moral support of a Therapist for it to work properly. You should have no shame in being triggered. Don't let shame stop you from getting the help you clearly deserve. I go to CBT. There are common themes that come up; one of them is feeling guilty/anxious about feeling guilty/anxious. It took me two sessions to fully grasp the CBT concept. I keep going as a way to apply those concepts to various aspects of my life. HC is right... .if you do feel behavioral therapy might help you, but you feel shame about it, let me reassure you: Absolutely no one in the group will judge you for being there. |