BPDFamily.com

One week out from relationship.  NC since Tue (I broke it, but no reply from her).  Her being this quiet means she's with someone, no doubt.  Fine / Good.

We live in a small town (not too small, but small).  Just had coffee with a new woman to my area AA meetings who heard me share and thought I could use an ear.  Went to a place I have never ever been to before.  Having coffee with her and in walks my exBPDgf's exNPDh (who I know still thinks we're dating ... .a) they don't communicate openly like that  b) you should have seen the looks coming off this guy, like he had just caught a mouse).

As an NPD he is going to want to stir the pot regardless / injure his ex even if it was some friend of mine and my exBPDgf knew about the coffee.  She will get a text from him like "saw your boyfriend having coffee at xxx with a younger women with long blonde hair, they looked cozy".  Something like that, he is a xxxx stirrer and knows my exBPDgf / his ex wife is extremely jealous.

My friend (also just divorcing from a pwBPD) made me promise to remain NC if she reaches out.  I will, but this will be interesting ... .she was jealous if some women just said hello to me at Starbucks in line being nice.

She just emailed. Ignoring.

Is it normal for an exBPDgf to totally discard you, be happy in a new relationship, and still contact you based on jealousy alone?  She dumped me!

She just said "how are you ripps?"  8 hours after her exNPDh saw me with another woman. What the ... .?

This would be a flag for me. You just met this woman correct?


You knew this was likely coming your way. Are you surprised?

Interesting you say that suzn. She is coming on strong. Are you saying because she knows "nc" and / or in a current BPD relationship (so she says ... .projection?) this one is dangerous?  Came up to me right after aa mtg I had shared about break up and asked for coffee.

For others, I'm still interested that jealousy alone makes them contact you when they're currently mirroring / idolizing new victim?  Please explain.

This^ and making you promise NC with your ex? Sorry... .none of her business. I'd run. You just ended a relationship, you're vulnerable. She sees that. Do YOU see that?


It can. Triggers abandonment fears.

Got it. Yes. Thank you.

These people are all backwards. You broke up with me ... .you're with someone else. Why are you the hell afraid of abandonment now. Weird.

your ex may be holding onto you as a back up. they like to keep a back up for fear of abandonment-this way if the current guy sees through her, she still has you.

yes, give yourself time to heal and get to know yourself again before getting into any relationship as the next BPD will most likely smell the newly broken and are no doubt looking for a new victim to control/take over. you could very easily be taken by a new owner-same crazy.

just my opinion.

This times a thousand!

My uNPDex sabotaged her uNPDexbf's engagement. It can be jealousy & control as well as abandonment fears.

Look at your ex as a four year old child (emotionally). She has a new toy, you are an old toy and she's left you laying on the floor while she runs around with her shiny new toy. Along comes another child and picks up her old toy... .it's still HER toy, a lot of four year olds don't like to share. Typical response from a four year old? That's MINE!   

 red-flag