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we split early part of last year, i went total NC on august. survived daily texts, phone calls and emails all the way to jan 2015. Then she went silent and havent heard a thing until today another email. I didnt open it or read it. I really thought she had gave up and know this. Its gut wrenching.

I feel ya! It IS gut wrenching! I've had two emails the last two Monday's and they provoke all kinds of feelings and emotions in me!

What are you going to do?  How have you been able to stay so strong and maintain NC all this time?

I will continue to stay NC. I was able to stay NC all this time by just deciding i had enough. I had tried everything else, except strict NC. I came to a point where I knew I had did everything i could to make the relationship work. My health was failling, my nerves was shot, I lost my desire to live life i was just going through the motions. I decided that something had to change. Thast what worked for me. But it took me 3 years and so many recycles to get to that point.

  Mitchell

There is an old seaman proverb... .

"A submerged whale will NEVER be harpooned"

NC, NC, NC.  Congrats!

      Hi all.

   Ahhh man I remember my heart skip a beat and the knotted feeling in my stomach every time my phone would ring.

   The best thing ive done for my self is change my cell number. It was hard  , I  still deep down wanted her to contact me.(how twisted is that) im really not surprised that I do not hear that more people on this board  change their pgone number. (  I understand that having kids throw a whole new issue with n/c.) Seriously it so much better. When my phone rings on have no worries.

    I had to hit absolute bottom before I foumd the strength to go 100 % N/C.

Hope everyone here the best of luck in climbing out of the destruction the BPDers we choose to have in our life caused!  |iiii

mitchell16

i am proud of you for maintaining NC. stay on course with strict NC rules, it is the only weapon in your arsenal that works against BPD's. trust me it is the only strategy for us. congratulation!

You are doing fantastic Mitchell ... .stay strong. Delete the email... .do not read it. Their words are meaningless... .and you know this, right?  I know it is gut wrenching and extremely painful... .but trust me, there is nothingt there for you but more insanity and drama. There is nothing healthy there for you.  Love you and live life.

thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. I has been a hard and long struggle. I wont lie seeing that email pop up really put me back on my heels. she had started to fianly leave my mind. But that brought alot back to the surface, alot a memroies good and bad. But I must maintain NC.

Mitchell16,

Please continue NC. You've been on these boards, since I first started and I remember your post from a few years ago. Nothing has changed or will ever change with this woman. I know it's tough, but man is it awesome on the other side being out of the FOG once you get there. It's a long and tough journey, but I know you have it in you to do it.

Yes Mitchell... .maintaining NC will strengthen your resolve and self love.  Let is be empowering! 

Proud of you Mitchell for keeping NC.

My T today said I needed to continue to ignore his efforts to contact me.

I had been sucked in time and again when I let him recycle. And it always ended the same. Nothing changed except for things to start getting worse each time.

I'm on almost 2 months NC! Feeling a bit better and stronger by the day!

Great job Sunshine! :D

HOORAY!

I will be your neighbor soon! I can't wait to move to Florida!

FlSunshineGirl, hang in there. It gets easier. You will still have a few bad days here and there but its gets easier and easier. For me when I went NC and stuck to it. I no longer could hear or read her words they lost their effect they had. because she never had any action just all words. The words kept me stuck for a long time. The only way for me was to go strict NC.

Thanks goingplaces and yay for your move to Florida! I've lived here all my life and love it!

And by the way, Jer 29:11 is my favorite verse! I have it on a plaque hanging in my house.  :)

Mitchell16, this is the longest I've ever had NC and in such a different place about really remaining so and letting this FINALLY be the real end!

A step I've taken that I never had before was to also get rid of all the plants, cards, letters, gifts, pictures of us. Threw them away, gave stuff away, sent stuff through the shredder.

That helped me to move on too.

All the actions I've done lately have been different that before. I had to be really ready this time for it to be over and I never was before.

My therapist, this board, getting rid of gifts from him and praying have helped me further along than I've ever gotten.

I do still have a few bad moments here and there (no bad days anymore, just moments) and at the beginning of NC, I was seriously sick, depressed, ruminating over his words for about a solid month!

We are all healing.